Archived Story

Sometimes horses run faster than we can ride

Published 10:40am Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting:

“How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Is it Louieville or Luisville?”

“I say Louieville.”

“You’re wrong, it’s Frankfort.”


Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: I think there are oceans on the moon, but some claim that is luna sea.


I’ve learned

Shoestrings can be used as floss in an emergency.

Not to forget the mashed potatoes when making a bucket list.

Anyone can palm a basketball if he lets enough air out of it.


The news from Hartland

Ann Chovey’s Pizza Shop is now serving breakfast. It’s cold pizza.

Conan the Barber provides haircuts while you wait.

Deer hunting by Buick season opens.



I sat in a food co-op enjoying a slice of cheese, a scone and tea.

I said to my much better half, “This is a busy place.”

I say that often. Eat joints are busy.

I loved going to the dime store when I was a boy. They sold birds, turtles, hamsters and grilled cheese sandwiches. Not all on the menu. That was a busy place, too.

I hoped I wasn’t sitting in someone’s favorite chair in the co-op. That might put him off his feed. I’d visited a small, country church where a woman told me that she had sat in the same pew since she was 11 years old. I’d hoped she’d gotten up a few times. My wife’s Aunt Ingeborg had an assigned seat in a pew at Trinity Lutheran for several millenniums. She believed if she’d changed pews, it would have exhibited a callous disregard for religious tradition.

We aren’t set in our ways. We’re consistent.


Horses without training wheels

Bruce Switzer rode a horse alongside his five-year old grandson on their ranch near Burwell, Neb. The little boy slid off his pony. Bruce scrambled from his steed and was relieved to find his grandson was unhurt. Bruce asked what happened. His grandson replied, “The horse was running faster than I could ride.”


Pursuing postcards

I was in a bookstore in Cleveland, Ohio, when I found myself attempting to read the tattoo on a young man’s forearm. He told me an odd tale of what the letters meant. It made no sense to me, but he seemed chuckled by it. He then smiled, looked around the store and said, “They have some pretty awesome crap here.”

I was searching for postcards. I’m a fan of postcards. I send my wife a postcard each night I’m away from home. The bookstore had none. Neither had a hotel, drugstore or supermarket. I made an executive decision to buy postcards at the airport on my way home. After going through security, I headed to Hudson News, a vendor of books, newspapers, snacks, and other things for travelers. I bought postcards picturing local scenes. After addressing and stamping the postcards, I added appropriate whimsy and embarked on seeking a mailbox. After a grueling search, I gave up. I stopped and asked the clerk at Hudson News where I might find a mailbox. She said there were no mailboxes inside the airport, but there was one located just outside the terminal. That meant I’d have to go through security again. I didn’t relish the prospect. My face must have betrayed my thoughts. The kind clerk said she’d gladly mail the postcards for me when she finished her shift. She did. My wife got the postcards. Things worked out.


It May snow

Phones are amazing. They allow a person to be in two places at once. I did an interview for a radio station in Ohio. I babbled via phone from my home. The host said that it was a sunny 74 degrees outside his studio. He asked me how the weather was in Minnesota. I told him. It was May and 18 inches of snow had fallen in my yard. There was silence, a sin in the radio industry. I assured him that the Buckeye State and the Gopher State used the same calendar.


Nature notes

Roger Batt of Algona asks how an earthworm digs a hole. The earthworm digs a burrow by eating its way through the soil. As the worm digs, it swallows the dirt and digests the decaying plant and food matter in the dirt. The soil passes through the earthworm’s body and is left on the ground in little castings. The earthworm eats itself into house and home.


Meeting adjourned

People think of you as often as you think of them. Be kind.

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