Advice on shooing off skunk turned out to be a stinkerPublished 10:34am Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting:
“Do you have a baseball bat I could borrow?”
“Sure. What do you want it for?”
“I want to use it on the next person who asks if it’s hot enough for me.”
1. Walking into a spider web is more effective than caffeine in increasing alertness.
2. When putting together ready-to-assemble furniture, allow ample time for frustration and disbelief.
3. Buy the biggest recliner you can find. You’ll grow into it.
I knew Andy Griffith. He was a friend of mine. I never met him, but he and the residents of Mayberry were regular guests in my home. Andy was always welcome. Don’t that beat all.
John Beal of Faribault writes that his uncle, Clarence Beal of Milan, Minn., had a skunk enter the basement through a window left open. A friend advised him to place a plank from the floor to the window so that the skunk would find its way out. After checking later to see if the plan had worked, he found there were two skunks in his basement.
Kenton Larson of Alden told of going to Bruzek Hardware in New Richland. He found the hammer handle he needed, but noticed that there were two price tags on the handle — one 10 cents higher than the other. Kenton inquired as to why the two prices. He learned that one was the price of the handle and the other was the price of the handle installed. Kenton had it installed.
Greg Spurr of New Richland has been battling an illness. Greg is tough and is winning the fight. It’s frightening to receive a harsh reminder of mortality. Kind-hearted Greg said he didn’t know where he was headed if he lost the battle, but he didn’t pack a winter coat.
Take me to your ladder
The wind had blown a few shingles from the roof of my house. Al Dirnberger said that he could fix that for me. He stopped by one day, ready to do the repairs. He didn’t have a ladder and a family member had borrowed mine. I lifted Al high enough that he could climb onto the roof. I told him that he would have to stay up there until I found a ladder.
I sat in the comforting shade of a tree and watched the world go by in the form of a parade. Some parade units moved by so quickly and so close to another that I feared it might have become a demolition derby parade. Others moved at a pace that permitted sizable gaps between units. The Gap should sponsor those. Horses are typically near the end of a parade for obvious reasons. My father claimed he liked politicians better than horses because politicians didn’t poop during parades. That’s usually the case. Many units threw candy. Some candy, tossed by someone not possessing a strong throwing arm, landed on a horse apple. That placement challenged the fervor of a child’s hankering for candy.