Hotel fight proves to be shocking possibility

Published 11:13 am Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club meeting:

“My wife is having a hard time.”

“What’s wrong?”

Email newsletter signup

“Her tattoos are beginning to look just like her mother’s.”

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors—both named Bruce—who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: Why would anyone buy a lottery ticket and not use a seatbelt?

Circling the pumps

I was circling the gas pumps trying to determine on which side of the rental car the gas tank was situated, when someone asks, “How stupid can you be?” I take it as a challenge.

“Pull her into the pits!” yelled the attendant at the small town gas station.

I remember when I was a boy and many of the gas caps hid behind license plates. They may have been hiding, but drivers knew where they were.

There should be a gas cap on both sides of automobiles so that no matter which side of the pumps I pull alongside, it would be the correct one.

My car has a low-fuel indicator light that tells me when I am in need of gasoline. A vehicle should have a gas cap indicator light that would inform me as to which side of the auto the gas cap is located.

Traveling mercies

I was trying to get from Juneau, Alaska, to Minnesota. Airplane mechanical problems changed my plans. I arrived too late in Seattle to catch my scheduled flight. I was routed to Los Angeles. At LAX I received a long bus trip across the runways. The bus wisely gave the right-of-way to a Qantas airliner. I had awakened at 4 a.m. and traveled until arriving in Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport at 6:30 the next morning when I retrieved bags, found my car, and drove home in rush hour traffic made interesting by snow, rain, and all manner of precipitation in between. I made it home. I wouldn’t change a thing in my travels. It was all vital to the journey.

Sultry city

Kory Gaskill of Pensacola, Florida works in raptor education. Kory advertises herself as an Interactive Bird Perch/Raptor Handler. She told me that her hometown is so humid that you could drown on dry land.

Live entertainment

It was slightly past four in the morning. There was a fight in the lobby of the hotel in which I was staying. I tiptoed by the combatants and made my way into the darkness of a Juneau, Alaska, morning.

I walked across the street to purchase a roll to sustain me on a flight to Seattle. A few minutes later, I strolled back to the hotel and discovered that the action had moved outside. There were two police cars, with more flashing lights than a math major could count, in the parking lot. An officer had one miscreant handcuffed while another officer was threatening to use his Taser on an additional unruly subject. A woman yelled, “Why are you taking him to jail? He didn’t do nothing,” repeatedly.

I watched from the darkness. I lurked while remaining respectful of personal boundaries. I feel guilty for wishing that one obnoxious man be Tasered. It was because I’ve never seen such a thing. I went into the hotel reluctantly. Checking out, I was pleased to learn there was no extra charge for the entertainment.

My neighbor

Old Man McGinty admits that he obeys all laws because he is too tired to break them.

Nature notes

Why aren’t birds electrocuted while perched on high voltage lines? If a bird is in contact with only one power line, it doesn’t form a complete circuit, so the electricity doesn’t flow through it. Large birds, like hawks and eagles, have been electrocuted when they’ve stretched a wing onto another line and completed a circuit.

Wednesday on the Insight page: Lee Bonorden on fighting cancer.