Anorexic sumo wrestler could be problem

Published 7:00 am Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club meeting

“It’s great to see your smiling face again.”

“I’m not smiling.”

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“That’s OK, it wasn’t really that great to see you again.”

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors–both named Bruce–who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: There are billions of people in the world. You can’t make them all happy.

I’ve learned

1. Not to bet on an anorexic sumo wrestler.

2. Not to give someone a piece of my mind if I can’t get by on what is left.

3. Life is what you make it—a series of mistakes.

My neighbor

My neighbor Old Man McGinty, the youngest Old Man McGinty ever, told me that he had just stolen another day and wanted me to know that the biggest change in the way people live around here is that folks used to take showers after they got home from work. Now they shower before they go to work.

Those thrilling days of yesteryear

My father was a collector—of almost anything. He didn’t throw things away. He piled them higher.

My mother threw things out. One day, she convinced my father that some things needed to go. My father fired up our old truck, which was older than anything found at the dump, and I jumped in. Going to the dump was reason for celebration. The dump was a discount store in which everything had been marked down.

We arrived at the dump and unloaded what we had brought there. Then we began to shop.

“Look at this,” my father said. “That’s a doozy. And this thing, I could fix it—whatever it is.”

We came home with more than we had taken away. Dad showed the bounty to my mother. “Can you believe someone threw this out?” he asked.

Mom replied quickly, “Yes!”

School days

When I was a boy, I was a big believer of the adage, “When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream, and shout.”

This didn’t always go over well in school. Because of this behavior, the principal (it’s “principal” because he was my pal) told me that he would like to see my parents.

The next day, I gave him a photo of my mother and father.

Wisdom from the fields

Glenn Ewert of Janesville spends time spreading sunshine onto farm fields. Glenn told me that he enjoys hauling hog manure. His reason? People tend to leave him alone while he is doing that task.

Voting memories

Scott Seiberlich of Burnsville wore a suit and tie to vote. He donned the duds because it was something he wanted to do. It was a nice touch. Dressing up to vote isn’t a bad idea.

Wise words

Peg Shelton said that life is like being on an airplane. We should choose our pilot wisely, pack light, not overbook, choose seatmates carefully, and pack our own parachutes.

Words from birds

Rosemary Olson of Albert Lea visited a friend who owns a caged bird that talks. Each morning, the bird greets her friend with, “Good morning, Hazel.”

Then the bird repeats, “Good morning, Hazel.” Followed by, “Aren’t you talking?”

That starts Hazel’s day off in a wonderful way.

From the mailbox

This from Rick Mammel of Albert Lea, A wonderful French Canadian Ojibwa, called “Canadian Joe”, was a writer of wonderfully poignant songs. One of the most memorable is: “Love many, trust few. Learn to paddle your own canoe.”

Wayne Wakefield of St. Paul sent this, When the teacher asked my brother Clyde what the four seasons were, he answered duck, deer and pheasant but said he could not remember the fourth. I heard it because we were going to a one-room school.

Nature notes

November is, on average, our cloudiest month and the clouds make for some exquisitely colorful sunrises and sunsets. The persistent green leaves of buckthorn trees are quite noticeable. This invasive species crowds out native species that are beneficial to wildlife. Buckthorn is particularly difficult to eradicate. Dandelions are blooming on short stems and warm, sunny days could bring out butterflies. American goldfinches have drab olive plumages.

Talking to the Holstein

I was talking to the Holstein the other day. The Holstein is a retired milk cow, so she has time to talk. I asked the Holstein what was the easiest way for me to get all of the things done that I have to do.

The Holstein chewed her cud thoughtfully and said, “That’s easy. Stop saying ‘have to do’ and start saying ‘get to do.’”

Meeting adjourned

Scott Adams wrote, “Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”