Echoes from the Loafers’ Club meeting
“I haven’t done a single thing all day.”
“Don’t you think you’d better get busy?”
“No, I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead.”

Driving by the Bruces
I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce–who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word-for-word everything that you shouldn’t have said.

No worries
I was standing in line in a convenience store. I was humming along with the rap music filling the store. A woman a few places ahead of me in line pulled out her checkbook to pay for her purchases. I could hear the collected sigh of the others in line. The sigh that said, “This is going to take all day.”
We do a lot of needless hurry-worrying. It didn’t take all day.

From the family files
My brother Donald said that our family moved so often during his grade school years that he was forever making new friends. He added that all his grade school photos show him sporting a black eye or split lip.

School daze
Stanley Herbst of New Richland told me that when he and his brothers were boys and walking to school each day, they developed a method of movement. They would run from one telephone pole to the next and then walk from that pole to the following pole. They repeated the process until they reached school.

The weather report
I have seen storm chasers each time there was a possibility of tornadoes this summer. Storm chasers follow powerful storms for the thrills and the videos. I’ve decided to join them — sort of. I’m going to chase rainbows.

The good old days
Judy Hellie of rural Albert Lea told me that she fixed chicken noodle soup for her 7-year-old granddaughter who was new to the second grade. The youngster sampled the soup and with a thoughtful look, said, “This takes me back to the first grade.”

You’re only old once
Tim Routh, from Wisconsin, gave a eulogy at his grandfather’s funeral. Ray Routh of rural New Richland shuffled off this mortal coil at the age of 93. Tim said that when he last visited the farm, the barn and the granary had been demolished. Tim added, “What can you say about a 93-year-old farmer who had outlived his barn and his granary?”

School daze
One of my favorite teachers was Tom Smith. Tom wrote jokes in his textbook so that he could tell them at the same time each year. It was part of his lesson preparation. I asked him about the jokes noted in the margins. Tom said that he wrote them because he wanted to be fair. He didn’t want one class to miss something that the previous class had heard.
Nature notes
“What kind of fish do ospreys eat?” Ospreys don’t care what kind of fish they catch and eat. Ospreys are found on every continent except Antarctica and even catch small sharks. I love watching an osprey catch fish by hitting the water with its talons extended, nearly disappearing below the surface. The osprey is a fish-eating specialist, with live fish accounting for about 99 percent of its diet. An osprey carries the fish headfirst to make it as aerodynamic as possible. The osprey is so good at fishing that bald eagles will steal its catch. An enterprising osprey pair might not feed only their family, but an eagle family also. After more than 150 years, ospreys were found nesting south of the Twin Cities. In the spring of 2008, an osprey pair attempted to nest in Le Sueur County on a power pole near the DNR fisheries facility at Waterville. This is the first documented case of an active osprey nest in southern Minnesota in modern times, although there have been several unsubstantiated reports.

Meeting adjourned
If you have no kindness in your heart, you have heart trouble.