Annie Lane: Is a teenage bride ever OK?
Published 5:55 pm Tuesday, May 9, 2023
Dear Annie: My 19-year-old daughter — she’ll be 20 in July — is a sophomore at Charleston College. She came home for spring break and informed my husband and me that she had found her soul mate at Charleston, and they plan to marry this summer. He’s 24 and a graduate student teaching English.
She wants to go back to school in the fall as husband and wife. How they plan to support themselves we have no idea. Should we try to talk her out if it? We’ve already told her we think it’s a mistake.
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Dear Disapproving: Have a candid conversation with your daughter about all of the reasons why you think she is too young for marriage. Explain to her that, if they are truly soul mates, there is no harm in waiting at least until she is out of school.
If she still decides to go through with it, then you should support her with love but not money. Nineteen is old enough to make your own mistakes. Let her know that she will be receiving no financial support from you or your husband. If she wants to have all the freedom of being an adult, then she also needs to accept all the responsibility.
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Dear Annie: I’ve been a mail carrier for the past two years. I know one of my fellow carriers is drinking on the job. I actually saw his truck parked near a neighborhood bar one afternoon. I don’t want to be a rat. But most of us work pretty hard every day. I don’t know how this guy finds the time to hang out and it bugs me. Should I report him?
— Worried Behind
Dear Worried: You should definitely report him — not because you’re frustrated by his hanging out at a bar during work time, but for the safety of others. It’s a hazard for the whole community to have a drunk mailman wreaking havoc on the roads. If you don’t report him, it could be only a matter of time before he hurts himself or somebody else. Take action before it’s too late. Reporting him anonymously ensures you won’t be involved any further once you’ve notified the right people.
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Dear Annie: My wife and I are in our early 70s and still very active. We go out a lot and visit relatives often. The problem: my wife has no sense of time. We are routinely one to two hours late every place we go. It drives me crazy and generally leads to an argument on the way there. Is there any hope in convincing her to practice some time management? She’s pretty set in her ways — even more so when I make an issue of it.
— Tired of Tardiness
Dear Tired: I assume you’ve already discussed this with her ad nauseam, but it’s time to walk the walk. Next time you have an appointment, tell her the exact time you are leaving the house and that if she is late, she will have to drive separately. Doing this a couple of times should let her know you mean business.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.