Annie Lane: Love is the answer

Published 4:46 pm Tuesday, July 5, 2022

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Dear Annie: I just read your Father’s Day column, and I am here to say you are SO right! My husband (a well-beloved teacher) passed away in 2016, and shortly after that, he visited me in a dream. He wrapped me up in his arms and ecstatically exclaimed, “The answer is love!” He was so happy. I will never forget it. I am not really into this sort of thing, but it has stuck with me ever since, and reading your column just brought it all back! Thank you! Maybe someone needed to hear it.

— Wife of

Beloved Teacher

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Dear Wife of Beloved: I am so glad that you shared a common experience. Thank you for writing in. Love really does solve most things.

• • •

Dear Annie: I am a 37-year-old woman, and I have three younger siblings who all live with my dad. I’m not allowed over to my dad’s house because his girlfriend is there, and she hates me.

The whole thing started when I got cancer a few years back, and I found out she was cheating on my father. So being loyal to my dad, I told him. He confronted her, and that’s when she started to hate me. She was nice at first, but now she and my father live in the same house and they don’t even talk to each other.

My siblings are teenagers, and I don’t believe they should live in a household like that. I have not seen my father in two years. I miss my dad and the teens. I told my dad to just leave, but he said he can’t because of his kids.

My dad is 66 years old; his kids are two 16-year-olds and a 15-year-old. I miss them so much and am writing to ask you: What should I do? Please help.

— Miss Family

Dear Miss Family: Of course you miss your family. It is terrible what your stepmother is doing and also terrible how your father is enabling her to be so cruel to you. Could you reach out to your siblings individually — or as a group, but not at their house — so that she is not involved?

I would also speak with your father about it. She sounds like a very controlling woman, ruining all the love between you and your family. I’m sure your dad misses you as well, so sit him down and speak with him. You might suggest that he and his girlfriend seek couples counseling.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to