Annie Lane: Red flags warrant cutting ties

Published 6:35 pm Tuesday, May 31, 2022

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Dear Annie: I met a woman online a couple of months ago, though we have never met in person. We have talked about getting together, where I would go to her location, and taking things from there.

I’m wondering if there are warning flags and what course of action to take.

We speak online through an app, but after repeated requests to video chat, I still have not received a positive answer. I understand people come from different backgrounds and have circumstances related to that. She will chew me out when she tries to call me and I don’t pick up, but I feel this is her way of trying to control the relationship.

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She does have a past, but when we speak of moving forward as a couple, she basically is too scared to help with insight.

My question is, should I be a gentleman and end it or continue putting up with her needs to continue playing me?

— Any Red Flags

Dear Flags: I think you know the answer to your question. Yes, the first red flag is that after months of communication, you have not seen her in person or even on video chat. Her chewing you out for not being at her beck and call sounds very controlling and like another red flag. You should end this relationship as soon as possible and move onto someone who is more deserving of your love and time.

• • •

Dear Annie: I am an honorably discharged veteran who served 49 years ago. I am grateful that members of our military and veterans are treated far better now and with more respect than when I served. While I was never disrespected while in uniform, such as spit on, I know some veterans did experience that. Unfortunately, it was my generation that did that.

On to my question. These days, I see quite a few businesses, especially restaurants, that offer a “military discount” (including veterans) for meals or product purchases. They openly advertise these bargains. This is usually 10% off the transaction or perhaps a free beverage with the meal.

On occasion, the clerk or server does not ask me if I am a veteran, and I end up paying the regular price. I do not feel comfortable bringing that up when paying the bill because I feel like I am being greedy.

I have had some servers and clerks tell me I SHOULD mention it, citing it as something I “earned.” When it is offered, I thank the server or cashier and appreciate the gesture.

What are your thoughts on this?

Also, there are a number of restaurants that provide free or significantly discounted meals on Veterans Day to veterans and active duty, and for those that do, I try to make it a point of patronizing those establishments throughout the year.

— Sarge

Dear Sarge: Thank you for bringing this up — and for your service to our country. The servers are absolutely right. Of course you earned it! It is wonderful that some businesses recognize your service and want to say thank you by offering discounts on meals or free drinks. You are not being greedy. You are the opposite of greedy; trust me.

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