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The Wide Angle: I have nothing important to say … for real this time

Once again we’ve come to a week where I have very few thoughts on where I want to go with things, fully understanding that you are probably fighting the urge to point out that this circumstance isn’t much different from any other week.

How much did that paragraph take up?

Nuts. Not near enough. Time for observations of a rambling mind.

COVID grows paranoia

Ever since last March, when I was forced to continue living a life as an introvert, COVID-19 has managed to increase a paranoia reserved only for how much the government knows about aliens, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.

Not that I’ve been overly paranoid about catching COVID. It’s one of those things that if I get it, I get it. I’ll take precautions, but I’m not going to be frozen in time in  a supermarket looking at canned beans, suddenly wondering how many near misses I’ve had. Oh, wait. Yes I will.

Rather, it’s walking into places that take your temperature before you can go any further. You know sometimes in high school, when you asked that special person out for the first time, convinced they will say no, only to be struck speechless when they say yes?

Suddenly, you realize you have no contingency plan for the eventuality that this person says “yes.” You’re forced to scramble to suggest ideas of what you will do with this person, desperately trying to recall every 80s movie ever where the nerd gets the cheerleader.

Well, that’s how I feel when these tests are done. Do I feel like I have COVID? While I can never say unequivocally that I don’t have it, I’m pretty confident in the precautions I’m taking.

And yet, the moment they point the temperature gun at my forehead, I’m suddenly stressed that it’s going to find a temperature of about 140 degrees and then what am I going to do? I feel fine, but the gun has me roasting and there’s no 80s movie that’s going to save this nerd.

It hasn’t happened of course and as far as I know, it’s just another government plan testing whether or not I’m a lizardman or something.

It’s a whole kind of kerfuffle.

Good thing when I was going to school all the girls said no.

Stoplights

One way to ensure you will reach that coveted goal of constant green lights is to leave early for something.

Naturally …  gosh … the opposite is true in terms of red lights. The other day I was heading out to Cedar Valley Services and I got started later than I wanted to.

Along the way I had to deal with a total of four lights and wouldn’t you know it; all of them red, forcing me to wait various times for it to turn back to green so I can continue being late.

This will make sense later in the column. Otherwise, just enjoy Buster.

Does work include video games and cats?

Recently there was a story on how the pandemic has altered how companies approach work and how working from home might be the way to go for some of these companies.

Ford Motor Company has done that, allowing people to work from home unless there was a meeting or something hands-on that needs to be done.

Or their spouse kicks them out for the day.

Clearly they didn’t take cats or video games into the equation. Ever lay down in the sun with your cat? It’s the single most relaxing thing you can do and naturally, there is always the temptation to play video games.

I went home for lunch not long ago, and Buster got his time in the sun when I opened one of our front doors to allow the sun in. Five minutes later, we were both passed out, sleeping soundly.

At least the mail carrier didn’t call the cops.