My situation has gotten a little squirrelly

Published 5:41 am Saturday, June 22, 2019

It’s been a little while since I’ve spoken about it so perhaps it’s time for a garden update, because there’s more than a little bit to talk about.

Besides, more than a few readers — five I believe was the last count, which counts for about a quarter of my readership — have asked about it periodically. This possibly proves a couple things. One, you all enjoy a good tragedy that would make Shakespeare cringe or you have no life.

Well lucky for you dear observers of life and for the sake of readership — I’m willing to be your tragedy.

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As far as the garden itself, there isn’t that much that is that surprising, unless of course you are taken aback by the ability of myself to cultivate something. It’s growing at a good pace, carrots being the only exception. There was an earlier miscue where I stepped on a row with seedlings just sprouting from the ground. They are of course not growing now.

It’s even been successful in regards to the radishes we’ve already eaten. Nothing is tangled yet, so that’s a bonus.

Rather the biggest struggle I’m now dealing with is rabbits and squirrels. The rabbits have largely been curtailed thanks to a small fence I’ve put up. A couple have snuck through as evidenced by the gnawed upon beet leaves, but the rest I have no doubt are digging their way to Albuquerque.

Really, my biggest irk is with the squirrels that refuse to quit digging up small holes in the garden. I thought for a while about this the other day. After about two minutes of rigorous thought and contemplation, I walked into the house, got something to drink and then forgot what I was doing. Two more minutes of wasted contemplation reminded me of what I was doing and with a mildly longer think time of five minutes remembered that I was thinking about what to do about squirrels.

So I thought a little longer and came to the conclusion that squirrels are smarter than I am.

Actually, it wasn’t that so much. I mean, they might be, but really it probably has more to do with the fact they have more energy than I do.

As far as I can tell, they aren’t eating anything. I suppose I could be wrong on this. It’s not like I’m a farming genius here, but mostly it’s just the digging.

About two weeks back, after pulling the radishes from the garden, I planted another row of carrots and the next day walked out to an assortment of divots in the two extra rows, nodoubt seeds flung everywhere.

I don’t know. Color me paranoid, but that just seems like they are being mean at this point, especially on the heals of a recent taunting a squirrel gave to the neighor’s dog from a power pole.


I suppose it’s possible the varmints are seeing the freshly worked soil and thought something was buried there worthy of their time. A nut perhaps?

It’s not unprecedented. The first hint of this problem was early spring when I was finding various nut shells along with fully uncracked peanuts buried throughout. I’m still finding peanuts in fact and even found a couple out front where the raspberries are holding court.

I’ve contemplated further about what I can do to deter these diggers of dirt. I thought briefly about throwing a net across things, but I just know what’s going to happen. I’m going to have to free one of the little monsters when it gets tangled. Also I don’t want to deal with it myself. More than likely a squirrel will have to free me from the net. That would be embarrassing.

But they are jerks, as we’ve already established, they would probably just and laugh at me.

In the end it’s hard to battle the nature of a creature. Squirrels are going to dig, going to bury and going to do their thing. Not much I can do about this, so I guess I’ll just care for what I have to replant when needed and think a little more about what I can do to keep the dastardly diggers away from my plants.

I’ll just spend a little more time in thought … wait, what was I doing again?