The Wide Angle: The paradox of standing in line clogs the universe

Published 12:56 pm Sunday, March 6, 2016

Floor Jansen, lead singer for the Finnish band Nightwish at First Avenue in Minneapolis last Monday. She did not buy me a sandwich. Eric Johnson/

Floor Jansen, lead singer for the Finnish band Nightwish at First Avenue in Minneapolis last Monday. She did not buy me a sandwich. Eric Johnson/

I love music.

Believe me, there’s a point to that simple statement, but it’s important we make that clear from the get-go. It will make it easier for you, the reader.

With that statement in mind, it can be readily assumed that I like concerts. I love the sound, I love the atmosphere and of course I love the bands.

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Earlier this year, me and my girlfriend Janeen were in Minneapolis at Mill City Nights for Epica, one of our favorite bands from the Netherlands. It was the third time we’ve seen the band in a show which also featured Portugal’s Moonspell and Chicago’s Starkill. All three are metal bands with Epica featuring Simone Simons on lead vocals with a voice that reaches operatic levels.

It’s all very epic. Again, trust me.

Then, this past Monday night we were back in Minneapolis, this time at First Avenue for Finland’s Nightwish and Sonata Arctica and the Netherland’s Delain.

Hmmm, I’m starting to see a pattern, but nevermind that, we’ve finally reached my point — admittedly in a very roundabout way.

Both nights of the shows were cold with this past Monday’s show not as bad as Epica’s but still pretty darn chilly, so waiting in line was kind of a trial of endurance, especially for the dude we met wearing a kilt. He’s either all kinds of manly or not prone to thinking ahead. To each his own.

At any rate, we jumped in line at 4 p.m. for doors that were supposed to open at 5 p.m. That’s key. Supposed. To open. At 5 p.m. It was during this time I realized there was door-opening-time that runs parallel to show-venue-door-opening time.

The latter isn’t official and is a paradox that shouldn’t intermingle at the same time as door-opening-time.

My contention is that show venues should really pay more attention to the first — the latter of which just isn’t cool for those of us standing in line.

At roughly 4:55 p.m. I made the bold prediction to my fellow line-waiters that we were quickly approaching show-venue door-opening time which meant that while we were supposed to get in at 5 p.m. we were probably looking closer to 5:10 p.m. This was said in jest but unfortunately it was more on target than it should have been. At 5:15 p.m. or so the doors opened which I guess turned out okay. By then I couldn’t feel my toes so one less thing to worry about.

We could have gotten in earlier I supposed if we wanted to pay the $140 per person last-minute VIP pass, an increase by the way of $40 from the original price of said ticket. I’m of the mind that even though I love these bands, Nightwish lead singer Floor Jansen could at least take us out for a sandwich or a pizza or something for that price.

My convoluted point is if you are going to put a time for doors opening on your tickets, then you should really stick to that. I don’t mind a little wait of my own doing. We did, after all, decide to race down to insure a decent place in line, but I would prefer to keep all my fingers and toes as well.

Makes clapping easier.