• 16°

A spring for mosquitoes

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club: “I’m always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning.”

“I’ve got a cure for that.”

“What’s that?”

“Get up half an hour later than you normally do.”

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: To succeed in life, you need three things–a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.

Days of yesteryear

My father owned the same dress shoes for over 40 years. He wore the wingtips with his suit. Dad polished the leather shoes before he wore them and again when he put them away in the back of the closet. I asked Dad why he didn’t buy new shoes. He replied that it took so long to break in the wingtips, he didn’t want to go through that again.

My neighbor

My neighbor Weasel visited his family that he hadn’t seen since he left home 10 years ago. His father and brothers greeted him. They were all sporting long beards. The last time Weasel had seen them, they were clean-shaven. He asked why they had the long whiskers. His father answered, “When you left, you took the razor.”

Young Writers

I had the pleasure of teaching at the Young Writers’ Conference held in Winona recently. The students were marvelous. I advised that they never give up on their goals. I told them the story of a woman in South Korea who needed a driver’s license for her business. The 68-year-old woman had been trying to pass the written test almost daily since 2005. She spent more than $4,000 in application fees. Her persistence paid off. On her 950th try, she passed.

Grace City

I was eating at the Schoolhouse Café in Grace City, North Dakota. Grace City has a population of 71. The Café was a school before the institution of learning closed and the building was converted into the eatery. I enjoyed a long john there that was sinfully good. The Café is filled with memorabilia from its years as a school. I looked at the photos of the graduating classes that were hanging in the hallway. The graduating class of 1966 consisted of a single student, as did the class that graduated in 1988. I could have been the salutatorian in Grace City.

Mosquito weather

Bob Neugebauer of Menoken, North Dakota told me that at 54 degrees, there are no mosquitoes and at 56 degrees, there are mosquitoes. Apparently, 55 degrees could go either way. I suspect that an ambitious mosquito would go to work at 55 degrees and beat the rush.

Not moving in Fargo

This is the time of year when if you see a road sign reading, “Delays possible,” you know that a delay is guaranteed. There was some serious roadwork in Fargo and I was at a complete stop while waiting for the flagman to turn his sign from “Stop” to “Slow.” I sat in my Pontiac and tried not to think of the movie, “Fargo.” It was difficult, as a nearby sign advertised a sale on chipper-shredders.

While trying not to think about the movie “Fargo,” I glanced at the electronic sign next to my car. It was one that showed “Your Speed.”

I wasn’t moving. No car near me was moving. The sign said I was traveling at a speed of 2 to 4 mph.

It gave me hope.