QUESTION: What is an effective way to help kids handle the “hard knocks” of life?

ANSWER: Kids learn the “good stuff” and the “hard stuff” by watching the adults in their lives. I greatly appreciate the following story that illustrates resiliency in action.

A farmer owned an old mule that fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule “braying” (or whatever mules do when they fall into wells). After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer felt sorry for the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old mule was hysterical! But, as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, it dawned on the mule that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, he should shake it off and step up!

That’s what he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” he repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows or distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up!

You’re right. There came the point when, battered and tired as he was, the mule was able to step over the wall of that well into freedom.

Successfully overcoming “hard knocks” requires refusing to give in to panic, bitterness or self-pity, looking for the potential in the midst of the confusion or pain, and determining to keep moving forward.

Be the encouraging parent, or friend, who offers the kind smile, the empathetic hug and the reminder to “shake it off,” “let it go,” “try again,” and “move on.” Hopefully, there is someone who will do the same for you.

If you would like to talk about the challenges in raising children, call the toll-free Parent WarmLine at 1-888-584-2204/Linea de Apoyo at 1-877-434-9528. For free emergency child care call Crisis Nursery at 1-877-434-9599. Check out www.familiesandcommunities.org and free resources at the PRC Specialty Library (105 First Street SE, Austin)