It feels good to be generous. We are a community that cares about each other and we want to help other people when possible. Helping others also has the benefit of helping us feel good about ourselves. Sometimes, though, people take advantage of generous people and helping someone else turns into hurting ourselves.

One example of this is those kind people who open up their home to a friend or relative who, temporarily, needs a place to stay. All too often “temporary” becomes “permanent” and they may start to feel like an unwelcome guest in their own home when their guest won’t leave. When they reach out to law enforcement for assistance in removing the guest from their home they shockingly find out that law enforcement can’t just remove them from their home against their will.

Another example is those who choose to help out a friend financially thinking that it will be a one-time deal. But one time turns into two times and then three times, and pretty soon it seems like they are spending all their money taking care of their friend’s needs and neglecting their own. When they try telling their friend “no” the friend tries manipulation to get what he or she wants and sometimes they may even escalate to threats to get what they want.

Saying “no” to other’s requests can be very difficult, either because it feels good to be helpful or because of a desire to avoid confrontation. If you are in a situation like this and feel it is becoming dangerous call Crime Victims Resource Center at 507-437-6680 to speak with an advocate about your options.