You have to whip it, whip it good

Tuesday, the announcement came.

I admit I felt a little “Lost” having read it as to my true feelings on the subject and feel at ease admitting to feeling a small amount of “Doom” about the what the announcement meant.

I was really hoping it was the last time for this particular bit of news some time ago, but it seems the powers that be are “Crusading” towards something that has very little hope left of recovery.

But it has now become “Crystal” clear — Indiana Jones is coming back.

See what I did there?

Tuesday, it was announced that Harrison Ford would reprise his role as the adventuring — and aging — archaeologist. To say I’m apprehensive about this is an understatement.

As a movie fan I’m already sick of the endless parade of sequels that moreless equates to a lack of original ideas in Hollywood, but this one strikes my fandom in the feels.

The original Indiana Jones introduced us to Ford’s iconic character originally in 1981 with “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” a phenomenal movie directed by Stephen Spielberg with a large amount of help from that guy that almost ruined his own movie series — I’m looking at you Lucas.

Next came “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” and while not as good as “Raiders,” was still a fantastic movie, followed by what many hope — now — was the third in a trilogy, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” which introduced us to Sean Connery as Indy’s dad Henry Jones.

Three quality movies that gave us a historical series.

That is until Spielberg Shia LaBeouffed all over the series with “Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.”

I’m still in self-therapy over this movie. It was bad, bad in that over-use of CGI, lazy film-making kind of way. I and so many others are still trying to figure out where this movie went wrong, though a part of me suspects it started with LaBeouff, because — just because.

As I write this I’m still trying to figure out my thoughts over this new Indiana Jones, due out in 2019 (How old is Ford now? Yeah, that’s what I thought). Regardless though, it’s not so much Indiana Jones and the thought of another lead-lined refrigerator tossed around by an atomic bomb going off, though that does seem like like an apt comparison to the series looking back now.

It really is endemic of a culture in Hollywood that refuses to think outside the sequel money pit, which I get. Standing in a hole and having money piled on you is appealing, but sooner or later the money drowns the sense of originality.

Yeah, we’re all geeked out over the endless parade of Marvel Avengers movies and the storylines that wrap together, connecting into one long series of sequels when you think about it. And so far they have been good movies, but I’m forced to admit I’m not as excited as I have been, just simply because it’s starting to feel more of the same.

I even thought that way of my beloved “Transformers,” and I had to fight through three movies of LaBeouff. The fourth, though free of at least his brand of horrible acting, was just too much.

I’m worried that the movie industry is holding on too tight to things that some day will run out of the quality directors needed to make these movies really good.

So yes, I’m nervous about this new Indiana Jones. I want to remember the originals as classics with good stories and good action, not as movies that degraded into aliens and computer-animated monkeys.

I guess in the end what I’m trying to say is, Shia LaBeouff is a horrible actor.

 

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