Lost in the parking lot? You have company

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting:

“It’s a good thing that I have a good memory for faces.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I broke my shaving mirror this morning.”

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: Money is like underwear. There’s no need for everyone else to know you have it.

Did you know?

A survey cited in The Wall Street Journal found that 59 percent of women admitted to having frequent problems in relocating their vehicles in parking lots. This same problem afflicts 42 percent of men.

Doctor, doctor …

Marci Fuller of San Benito, Texas, told me that her doctor/husband tells many of his patients to go on “itos-free” diets. That means no Doritos, Fritos, burritos, Cheetos (qualifies on sound alone), or taquitos.

Restroom reflections

I was about to speak at a thing in Harlingen, Tex. I visited the bathroom first. Always a good idea. No one needs any extra stress. As I entered the necessary room, I met a man carrying one of those giant mugs. I reckon it held about five gallons of his favorite soft drink. That might be a slight exaggeration, but it was huge.

“You must have to make a lot of stops in rooms like this,” I said.

He raised his mug as a salute in my direction and replied, “Endless.”

Maybe he should drink the contents of his enormous mug only in restrooms.

Echoes from a church

We were talking of many things as we enjoyed good food in the church basement. Food always tastes better outside and in church basements. Anyway, we talked of many things. I thought of Lewis Carroll, who wrote in Through the Looking-Glass, “‘The time has come,’ the Walrus said, ‘To talk of many things: Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax — of cabbages — and kings — And why the sea is boiling hot — And whether pigs have wings.’”

We didn’t actually talk about any of those things, but Pastor Ron Brey, a friend of long-standing, did say that it was hard to find funny sympathy cards. I had to agree.

Brain cramp

I got up from my office chair and walked into the living room. For no apparent reason. Or at least not for any reason that I could remember.

The cat that had been sleeping on the sofa, suddenly awakened, jumped to the floor and walked resolutely down into the basement.

I hoped it remembered why it had gone there.

Customer comments

Arlene Bryson of Alden told me that she has been experiencing some hearing loss that is most noticeable in rooms crowded with people. She said that when talking to people in such situations, she has learned to smile a lot and to refrain from nodding.

Nature notes

A caller asked what ants do during the winter? Smart ones crawl to Arizona. Some ants can adjust the structure of their nests to help regulate the internal temperature. Anthills act as solar-collectors, increasing the temperature inside. When it becomes too cold, the ants retreat deeper underground, below the frost line. Carpenter ants live in nests in wood. Wood is a good insulator, but freezes in winter. The ants enter a state of slowed metabolism called “diapause.” Generally, the queen stops laying eggs. The workers begin to mass more than before. Cold weather doesn’t stop some ants from being active in buildings. A common indoor winter ant is the pavement ant. The reddish-brown pavement ant is 1/8-inch long. Pavement ants typically nest in the soil under stones, bricks, sidewalks, or driveways. When the nest is kept warm from a building’s heat, the ants stay active, move through the cracks in concrete, and actively forage for food and water.

Education

Pacelli honors Class of 2025 with commencement Friday night

Education

Photos: One last time through

Education

In Your Community: Mason’s present scholarships

Mower County

In Your Community: 4-H holds rabbit workshop

Mower County

In Your Community: 4-H Rabbit team claims top award

Mower County

In Your Community: Duplicate Bridge

Education

Education Briefs

Crime, Courts & Emergencies

Convictions: May 12-19

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Rebel softball team overpowered by FBA

Education

‘You guys are an incredible class’: SMEC graduates 32 in Thursday commencement

Law Enforcement

SIRT negotiators honored at state conference for role in July 2024 standoff

Business

Shoe Sensation uplifts local charity with donation during grand opening weekend festivities

Hayfield

$30K grant helps Hayfield update park

Mower County

The Cedar Summerstock Theatre returns to  Austin on June 12

Education

Grand Meadow students participate in MSHSL State Visual Art Show

Business

The Style Lounge Salon named to 2025 SALON TODAY 200 List

Mower County

In Your Community: Music Hall of Fame inductees honored

Education

Education briefs

News

Walz rebuked by Trump administration for comparing immigration agents to Gestapo

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Voting rights advocates tout success of new law in getting formerly incarcerated people to the polls

News

Minnesota lawmakers fail to finish budget on time, head toward special session

News

A ‘last day’ arrives for Minnesota lawmakers that will be anything but a conclusion

Mower County

Paul Sween named grand marshal for 2025 Independence Day Parade

Education

Pancakes with Pals held in Grand Meadow gymnasium Friday