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In an ideal world, I should be standing on a dock of a lake, sipping coffee as the sun rises higher over the surrounding pine and birch trees.

Instead, I’m here with you guys — which isn’t a lament. You’re all perfectly fine people if not a little naive in your choice of columns to read on a weekly basis. I think you’ve proven just how low of a bar you have when it comes to taking in your local editor’s “columns.”

Still, I appreciate the 48 of you who deem me worthy enough to read each week, even if it’s nothing more than checking in to see if the wheels have fallen off yet.

However, while I of course appreciate all of my readers, it doesn’t take away from the fact that I could be greeting the blue of the lake this week rather than the sand-colored brick sides of IJ Holton Intermediate School.

Like in years past, I would be up north for our annual family vacation, enjoying the forested background, fishing and of course the family and friends we generally get to see only once a year. However, a couple years back, we made the decision to do it every-other-year so we could spend time with the parents of the saving grace side of our house. This isn’t a complaint mind you. I thoroughly enjoy being able to spend time with this side of the family. They are definitely worth the trip, even if it means coping with Florida, which I’m going to be honest here, is not my favorite state in the union.

I like to take my showers in the shower, not feel like I’ve walked out of one simply by walking outside.

This year we’re aiming for a September trip down south. This comes after our last visit, which was two years ago and — in June. Even though we had a very good time on our trip, June quite possibly is the absolute worst time to visit any state south of Lyle.

I can remember starting our drive through Iowa which is the visual equivalent of what I would imagine cardboard tastes like, and feeling like it was warm, but not oppressive. That changed abruptly when we stopped for food in Missouri and ramped up a little more when we reached our single stay over the trip down in Paducah, Kentucky.

But it was Georgia the following day that gave us our first real taste of what we were in for. Rain and storms chaperoned our trip through the state and generally made you feel really uncomfortable any time you had to stop.

Still, I was optimistic I would be able to retain my bodily fluids when we entered Florida at night and would be arriving at our hotel in Kissimmee at around 1 a.m. I naively thought things have to get better at night, right?

Nope.

The weight of the humidity was suffocating and instantly my clothes felt clingy in the damp air. I almost felt like I had to take a shower just to go to bed.

Things didn’t improve weather-wise through the week. Each day was a soggy step after soggy step through the moist air of Florida. In my mind, it was a race from air conditioner to air conditioner, which worked well with the Florida driving, which is akin to hitting the on-ramp like you are exiting the pit area of the NASCAR Something or Other 500.

Naturally, the off-ramp feels like entering the pits, only without the satisfaction of an eight-second tire change.

It’s abrupt and stark and more than a little white-knuckling. So much so that for a time after returning home, I would handle driving through Rochester like I was wrapping around Orlando and grew angry with drivers who weren’t willing to go 100 mph over the speed limit.

But, for as much as I really don’t like Florida’s heat, moisture and the urge to challenge the notion of light speed, we are looking forward to making the drive back down this year.

Now, I understand what you will probably be asking. Why don’t you fly down?

Be serious will you. I hate flying. Not the actual act of flying. If you give me a window seat I’ll be perfectly entertained the entire way. It’s everything else I don’t like about it, including but certainly not limited to the need to be at the airport so early, the waiting, the running from terminal to terminal, sitting for hours with my knees in my chest — sitting closely next to other people.

The list goes on, whereas with driving we can find places to stop along the way, drive through the mountains and experience the sheer terror of a check-engine light coming on while dipping down the side of said mountain.

I guess it’s not all rainbows and unicorns, but at least I’m only sitting next to one person that I like.