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Echoes from the

Loafers’ Club Meeting

We used to raise a couple of corn crops each year.

How did you do that?

We stood the farm on its end and planted on both sides.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. It was raining cats and dogs—and maybe a couple of cows. I wasn’t trying to beat traffic. I hoped for a tie. A blink-long pause in the downpour allowed a couple of men wearing redneck toupees and driving ginormous pickup trucks that were far exceeding the speed limit as they tried to outrun a month’s worth of weather in a couple of days.

I picked black raspberries. Unfortunately, stable flies, also known as “ankle biters,” and a common nuisance in Minnesota during the warmer months, picked me. They have painful bites and target the legs and ankles of humans and animals.

Data at https://wallethub.com/edu/states-where-people-spend-the-most-least-on-fast-food/146260 found that Mississippians pay more for fast food relative to their income than any other state. WalletHub analyzed the price of hamburgers, pizza and chicken sandwiches across the 50 states. Following Mississippi were: New Mexico, Kentucky, Arkansas, West Virginia, Louisiana and Alabama. Iowa was the 27th highest, with Minnesota resting in 45th place. Massachusetts was 50th.

I’ve learned

If I’m punctual, there’s no one around to appreciate it.

I asked my cellphone for the directions to a cemetery where I could pay respects to a loved one. The phone voice did a skillful job and ended it with, “You have reached your final destination.“

As I looked at the restaurant’s menu, I heard the server say those three little words I love to hear, “All-day breakfast.“

A buttal requires a rebuttal.

If the flashlight on your cellphone is on as you enter a restaurant, you’ll get a senior citizen discount without asking.

We’ll always need coins to use on scratch-off lottery tickets.

Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose lived in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota. Bullwinkle was born in Moosylvania, a fictional island in the Lake of the Woods, near the border between Canada and the United States. The ownership of the island is the subject of dispute between the United States and Canada, with each country claiming it belongs to the other.

You are lost when Siri asks, “Where are you?”

I enjoyed a piece of my sister-in-law’s toothsome rhubarb pie as her cousin talked about “scooter pooting” in Louisiana as a youth. That’s a colloquial term, used in the South, that refers to casual socializing or going out for fun with a group of people. The term sometimes describes a group of vehicles traveling together in a convoy-like manner.

Bad Jokes Department

What’s the difference between a camera and a sock? A camera takes photos, and a sock takes five toes.

My uncle used to travel a lot. He was a good man, but a terrible basketball player.

A game warden rescued a man being chased by a grizzly bear. Once safe, the officer arrested the man for running with a bear behind.

The man who created the wind chill factor died. He was 86, but he felt like he was 75.

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I went to the doctor with hearing problems.

He said, “Can you describe the symptoms?”

I replied, “Homer is portly and lazy, and Marge has blue hair.”

Nature notes

A glance out a window revealed a red-headed woodpecker, indigo bunting, northern cardinal, Baltimore oriole, gray catbird, blue jay and black-capped chickadee in our yard. I don’t question why I watch birds, but if I did, I’d find the answers in the beauty beyond the glass.

I rambled while wearing sandals because I love the freedom of the open-toed. I walked with purpose. An inspired bird saunter. My antennae were finely tuned, searching for magic doors to open. My heart sang as I glimpsed turkey vultures slicing the air thin. I watched as a meditation. Raindrops and birds are bolts of beauty. Proust wrote, “Whence could it have come to me, this all-powerful joy?” I walked several miles until I heard a vesper sparrow sing. I was soggy, but I’d reached my destination—an all-powerful joy. I located a red-winged blackbird nest with three eggs (blue with black markings) in it, which was 2 feet off the ground in a Canada thistle in a prairie planting.

Meeting adjourned

“My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to bewho and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.”—Maya Angelou.