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Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

Do you have any tattoos?

I don’t think so.

You don’t know?

There are places I don’t want to look.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I visited a rest area in Iowa. On a wall, there was a familiar painting. When I was a boy, I thought the most famous couple in the world were the two in “American Gothic,” Grant Wood’s frequently parodied, iconic painting. Who were these two figures, and what was their relationship? Many people assume they’re husband and wife. Wood called the twosome father and daughter. Wood modeled the pair after his 32-year-old sister and his 62-year-old dentist. He painted the duo with elongated necks and faces, and they looked stern, somewhat quizzical, and serious. Wood intended to applaud the hardworking, honest and dignified farmers of the Midwest.

That painting reminds me of the farmer who told a visitor, “The black cows always eat more than the brown cows.”

“Why is that?” asked the puzzled guest.

“We have more black cows than brown cows,” answered the farmer.

I spoke at a couple of things in Louisiana. The term “Cajun Holy Trinity” refers to the trio of onions, green bell peppers and celery that are a foundational component of Cajun and Creole cuisine. I ate gumbo, jambalaya and étouffée, which are distinct Cajun and Creole dishes. I had to ask which was which. I was told that gumbo is a soup or stew served over rice, jambalaya is a rice dish cooked with other ingredients, and étouffée is a thick sauce served over rice. I didn’t know what things of unknown origin were in each dish, so I questioned a couple of restaurant employees. Their answers were basically the same: “You don’t want to know.”

I’ve learned

“You’re a lot like your father.” “You’re a lot like your mother.” When I hear those comments, I take them as the utmost compliment.

I’m glad blinking doesn’t make any noise.

Despite being titled “Fargo,” no scenes for that movie were filmed in Fargo. Some were shot at Wally McCarthy Oldsmobile in Richfield, Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport and Chanhassen Dinner Theatre.

Nothing makes a person feel older than a new driver’s license photo.

In 1925, Skinner’s Manufacturing Company in Omaha introduced Skinner’s Raisin Bran. Other bran cereals existed, but Skinner’s debuted the first with raisins.

 We talk to ourselves when we need an expert’s opinion.

Eye drops are blinking fluid.

U.S. Census Bureau figures show the states with the highest percentages of poverty in 2023 were Louisiana, Mississippi, New Mexico, West Virginia, Kentucky and Oklahoma.

Bad jokes department

What do you call an insect that can’t decide whether or not to eat your house? A ter-might.

Santa Claus is tough on his elves. He’s a real sleigh driver.

I start my new job hanging mirrors tomorrow. It’s something I can see myself doing.

I meant to publish this earlier: April was Procrastination Awareness Month.

Studies show I should brush my teeth with my non-dominant hand, but a toothbrush works better.

A politician held a rally in a small town. He asked, “What can the government do for you?”

A man said: “We have two problems here. The first one is that we have no doctor in town.”

The politician pulled out his iPhone and had a short conversation. Concluding his call, he said, “That’s taken care of. There will be a doctor here next month. What’s your second problem?”

“We can’t get a cellphone signal here,” said the man.

Nature notes

I walked around Lake Sagatagan at the St. John’s Abbey Arboretum. A family of Canada geese (Ma, Pa and five goslings) moved toward the water. One baby had difficulty climbing over the trunk of a fallen tree. To the gosling, it was Mt. Everest. It cried. The gander walked back to see if he could help and stepped onto the log just as the gosling reached the summit. The gander’s big foot landed directly on top of the little fellow. More crying ensued. They both shuffled into the water, appearing no worse for the wear, but I expect the gosling had nightmares.

Some Canada geese undertake a northward molt migration in late May and early June. This migration consists of non-breeding geese, including young and failed breeders, who travel to northern and subarctic areas to molt their flight feathers and spend the summer.

Meeting adjourned

“Thank you. You’re a kind person. It doesn’t cost anything to be kind. People forget. Kindness doesn’t cost a dime.” — Allan Wolf, “Zane’s Trace.”