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Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

Do you know why dinosaurs went extinct?

It resulted from an impact with a large celestial object.

No, it was because they couldn’t take selfies, and their life had no purpose.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. One year, I made the radish decision to plant six varieties of radishes. They were all good, and radish sandwiches abounded.

I picked up a T-shirt, sniffed it and said, “It’s good for one more wear.” That’s right, I can do my laundry by smelling it.

Men are strange. I had a friendly neighbor who walked to a town 4.5 miles away to get groceries. At least it wasn’t uphill both ways. His car, an ancient, hulking Hudson, stayed hidden to avoid oil changes and tire rotations. He walked that far to get a bag or two of groceries and then walked back home. He farmed with horses, one large workhorse mirroring the actions of its partner as they performed their equine ag duties. One day, when I was 15 and driving on a farm permit, I happened upon the man hoofing his way home. I asked if I could give him a lift. He told me that if he’d wanted to ride in a car, he’d have driven his own. His behavior wasn’t rude. He just didn’t believe in traveling a longer distance than his legs could carry him.

I drove across the Mackinac Bridge, a suspension bridge that connects the upper and lower peninsulas of Michigan. It spans the Straits of Mackinac, a body of water connecting Lake Michigan and Lake Huron. It contains 4,851,700 rivets and 1,016,600 steel bolts. At 5 miles, it’s the seventh-longest suspension bridge in the world and the longest suspension bridge in the Western Hemisphere. I drove across it in an elderly borrowed car. It had personality enough that I drove with my fingers crossed. No parts fell off into a Great Lake.

I’ve learned

The archives are where Noah kept the bees.

Nine of ten new cars sold in Norway last year were fully electric vehicles

Look for every opportunity to say, “thank you.”

The E on the fuel gauge doesn’t stand for “enough.” Today’s Trojan Horse would arrive in an Amazon box.

I spoke in Freeport, Illinois, where Pretzels is the high school’s team nickname due to the city’s strong German heritage and pretzel bakeries.

It’s a good idea to make a list of things to do each day. That way, you’ll be able to cross “make a list of things to do” off your list at the end of each day.

Bad jokes department

I gave my seat on the bus to an elderly man. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

I’m suffering from an iron deficiency. That’s why my shirt is wrinkled

“Ah” on the periodic table is the element of surprise.

Describe yourself in three words. “Lazy.”

A truck hauling Vick’s VapoRub overturned in the middle of the highway in Minneapolis during the rush hour. There was no congestion.

Nature notes

Matt Hoelscher of Hartland had a robin dining at a grape jelly feeder. Robins occasionally eat jelly. Other animals than orioles feed on the jelly, including catbirds, woodpeckers, house finches, rose-breasted grosbeaks, brown thrashers, hummingbirds, butterflies, bees, chipmunks, squirrels, raccoons and others.

The European invasive Dame’s rocket blooms profusely in colonies. It’s often confused with native phlox, but Dame’s rocket flowers have four petals, while phlox blossoms have five petals (P-H-L-O-X).

As the teeth of rodents (including mice, rats, squirrels and beavers) wear down from gnawing, they continue growing. This ensures that the teeth remain sharp and functional throughout the rodent’s life. If the teeth don’t wear properly, it causes problems such as difficulty eating, malocclusion and jaw damage. Rodents chew to maintain dental health. Their dentists remind them to gnaw regularly.

The names May beetle, June beetle and June bug refer to species of beetles in the genus Phyllophaga that damage turfgrass. The larvae feed on grass, tree and shrub roots, and mature in the soil, which takes the white grubs two or three years.

The white foam blobs on various plants are produced by the nymphs of spittlebugs, small insects related to aphids. The foam protects the nymph from predators and provides insulation from temperature extremes and low humidity, so the nymph doesn’t desiccate. Adult spittlebugs are called froghoppers.

Meeting adjourned

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions and the roots spring up to make new trees.”—Amelia Earhart.