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It was late Tuesday night, and I had just finished a couple hours at the office and wrapped up dishes at home.

Yeah, I know — that was the “it was a dark and stormy night” of a column entrance.

At any rate, chores done and the prospect of folding a set of whites that had already been sitting in the dryer for a full day, because let’s be frank — I’m lazy — was on the horizon when I began taking stock of my wardrobe.

Generally, this is something that doesn’t take a lot of time because as many of you may have noticed, I’m not exactly the height of fashion forward. I essentially have five outfits for the week, a couple with the option of different styles of shirts when the weather calls for it — short sleeve and long sleeve.

You’ve probably also noticed that I don’t really expand my color schemes that much either, choosing to stay mostly in the realm of blacks, grays and lighter grays.

Yeah, I’m dull as dirt when it comes to the clothes I wear and really, I’ve probably put more effort into the look of my Renaissance Festival outfit than I do my day-to-day look.

Still, there are days when I realize I should probably update things and so, on a whim I settled down and began looking at options for my next clothes additions.

The problem is, now I will have to go through my existing wardrobe, and determine what clothes I keep and don’t keep.

Spend enough time in journalism and a person learns to keep a pretty close eye on your bank account in an effort to maintain affordability. We’re not getting rich here.

This was something that was instilled very early on in my career and it’s carried forward to today so the long and short of it is that I’ve got items of clothes I’ve been wearing for years. Heck, there have been some items that have held the line as if they were the 300 Spartans holding off the Persians — with lots of holes.

I like to think I’ve become legendary in my ability to expand the life of the clothes I wear  so that they begin to absorb levels of historic relevance to the point that when something comes along I can remember it through said clothing. Not only can I remember where I was, but what I was wearing and how many holes and frays I’ve gathered since then.

Probably a bit of an over exaggeration, but I’m just not that thrilled over shopping for clothes. Of course, there are items that I enjoy wearing. If I could live every day in a hoodie, I would. Cargo pants — you bet, give me all those pockets. Hats? Nobody wants to see me balding, drop it on me.

The fact is, I’m a creature of habit and the habit I hold for shopping for clothes occurs on the semi-regular schedule of maybe once a year. Twice if I’m feeling spunky about things and see something I like.

In order to figure out what exactly I needed and how I was going to go about procuring things, I started rummaging through the shirts, pants, shorts and the sort and realized that apparently, not only am I not an enthusiastic shopper when it comes to clothes, I’m also a bit lax in the throwing away items.

I found at least four or five pairs of pants that are serving no discernible purpose, other than to take up space in our closet.

I’ve always considered it prudent to keep a pair or two of other pants for work around the house, something I suspect isn’t that uncommon, but apparently I thrive in this aspect as all the pairs I found that I don’t really wear that often have holes of various sizes in them.

Fun fact: I also realized I’m missing a pair of a pants, but I’m guessing you’re already on the edge of your seat, waiting in anticipation for whatever sharp observation I have coming your way — much like the look County Commissioner John Mueller has on his face when I approach the commissioners to ask a question.

Or is that a pained expression?

Anyway, a riveting story for another day, I’m sure. The tale of the missing pants.

The point of all of this, other than to disappoint you as to what you might actually be reading, is that I really don’t like clothes shopping, which shouldn’t necessarily be too surprising for those who do actually admit to knowing me.

But the fact remains, I need to do this unwanted chore because the alternative is that my clothes literally fall off my person when the holes and frays finally find a way to connect.

So in the coming days keep an eye out for my new look.

You will be blown away by how it just lights up my person because now I’m into medium grays.

It really highlights my balding areas.