Annie Lane: Stop playing games
Published 6:30 am Saturday, May 8, 2021
Dear Annie: I’m a 34-year-old man with a superb wife. We’ve been married eight years, and things are great between us. The problem is my mother-in-law. I’m sleeping with her.
She is an incredibly attractive woman and still in her prime. She and my wife look like sisters. But my mother-in-law knows a thing or two more than her daughter in the bedroom.
This affair has been going on for four years now. It’s getting hard to not want to be with her all the time, instead of just a couple days a week.
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If this should come out, it will wreck two families, and I don’t want that. But I think I’m falling or have already fallen in love with my mother-in-law. Plus, the sex is incredible. Any suggestions?
— My Own Mrs. Robinson
Dear MOMR: Get yourself together, man. This isn’t advice I should have to give, but please: Stop sleeping with your mother-in-law. Come clean to your wife. And be prepared to pack your bags. As much as I try to encourage married couples to work through thick and thin, honestly, I can’t see how someone could come back from this. Your wife deserves to be in a loving, respectful relationship — and not stuck in whatever kind of sick game this is.
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Dear Annie: I’ve started working out at the gym again recently, and there is a really cute man who works out the same time as me who has captured my attention. I am so attracted to him. I know he likes me, too, but I don’t know if he is shy like me and looking for love, or just looking for a piece. I’m confused because he was sending his daughter over to bump into me, but he never approached me when he had a couple chances. I am a loud person in general but a very shy woman when it comes to things like this. I don’t know what to do. Should I leave a note on his truck?
— Crushing Hard
Dear Crushing: Flex your confidence and ask this man for a date. The worst that can happen? He says no, things are a little awkward at the gym for a few days, and then you’ll both move on, with your having gained some practice making a move. But from the sound of it, he won’t say no.
• • •
Dear Annie: The letter from “Love Two Men,” who had been scammed by one man online and seems to be getting involved with another scammer, was me in a nutshell. Back in 2011, I tried online dating and was scooped up by scammers immediately. I made it through intact emotionally and financially; however, these websites need to stop adding little badges to people’s profiles announcing that they’ve newly joined the site. That puts targets on their profiles for scammers. They find their victims that way — women who are vulnerable and not terribly savvy about what to expect.
You said that this woman had been “put on a shelf” — that was me for three and a half years. And it turns out, my guy was buying “books” all over the country! He would frequently travel for business “out of the country,” and I would be none the wiser. And he often projected his infidelity onto me, so add a scoop of gaslighting in there, as well.
All the frustration and heartache and trials I experienced are now the subject of a book I’m writing. I made a new shelf with my own book -— what’s better than that?!
Dear Match.NOT: As the late, great Nora Ephron said, “Everything is copy.” Way to take lemons and turn them into lemonade. I hope your letter inspires others to wring something sweet out of a sour experience.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to email@example.com.