Al Batt: A Christmas gift for my dentist

Published 4:36 am Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

I have water in my attic.

Don’t you mean basement?

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No, but that’s where it started.

Driving by Bruce’s drive

I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me, such as: I rang bells for the Salvation Army. I do so in an effort to make the world a bit more comfortable. I was stationed  at a store in the midst of rosettes, instant pots, air fryers, and Scotcharoos. A man drinking from a “Bah hum” mug greeted me warmly. I rang for four hours, drawing inspiration from the days when I dinged the bells for 10 or 12 hours straight.

After leaving the store and walking toward my car, a horn blared an alarm from a parked car. Back when ringing 10 or 12 hours wasn’t a challenge, that car would have drawn a crowd. Now it’s ignored other than a look or word of annoyance.

Shoofly pie and fruitcake

I was at a Christmas party with friends. One had made shoofly pie, a molasses crumb cake baked in a pie crust. It was powerful good. There was no fruitcake at this particular feast day for friends. I like fruitcake. There, I’ve admitted it. I like it best when none of the ingredients is sawdust. I’m keen on fruitcake wearing a layer of whipped cream. I like some fruitcake better than others, but that’s true about all foodstuffs.

  I wish I’d been eating fruitcake instead of a salad, greens and walnuts at a banquet in Sitka, Alaska. I broke a tooth. I didn’t do it for me. It was a Christmas gift for my dentist.

We all miss someone

Christmas is a time to rejoice, to give, and to share cheerful words. It’s also a time for missing.

My parents both died around Christmas. I’m 36 years older than the last time I saw my father and 29 years older than I was the last time I talked to my mother. I miss them.

When I was a lad, my shoes often matched the color of mud or animal exhaust. I wondered what my socks were supposed to match. The primary rule to this is that your socks should match the color of your pants because they are an extension of your pants. My parents taught me it really didn’t matter.

Christmas is written in words too big for us to see. We ponder what it is we’ve amounted to. Life has a steep learning curve. It’s a blessing having people worth missing.

Thoughts while in the dentist’s chair

If someone signs your paycheck, they can’t be a complete idiot.

You become an adult when you’ve lost the desire to become a grownup.

Familiarity invites repeat customers to restaurants.

Nature notes

I got a nice Christmas card from a Baltimore oriole. It said he was warm and eating fruit and nectar in Costa Rica. After reading the card, I moved to a pretty place. The window. There were chickadees at the feeders. My favorite bird eats about 35 percent of its weight per day. A Cooper’s hawk had been hunting/haunting the yard. That raptor eats 12 percent of its weight daily.

An opossum was nibbling on seeds that had fallen from feeders. I’d eaten an apple and tossed the core outside, nearly hitting the opossum. I didn’t mean to come that close. It didn’t alarm the animal. An opossum’s eyesight isn’t the greatest, but it smelled the apple and grabbed it with its mouth of 50 teeth and ambled away. I felt good about my simple gift.

A male house sparrow in the yard had an impaired wing. Birds don’t fly well on one wing. I tried to catch the little bird, but it was too quick for me. I’ve been feeding it. Many would say that it’s just a house sparrow. Even though I’m more than willing to trap a mouse or swat a mosquito or stable fly, I try not to judge creatures. They are what they are. I remain hopeful on the sparrow’s behalf.

I saw a coyote feeding on a deer killed by a car. Coyote mating season is January and February. Five to seven pups are born in April. Their mother teaches them to hunt when they are 8 to 12 weeks old. From autumn until mid-winter, the pups leave the den and search for their own territories.

Deer are nature’s “reduce speed” signs. Just think how fast people would drive if it weren’t for deer.

Meeting adjourned

“Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth. Kindness is the new cool.”

— Syed Balkhi