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The Wide Angle: Break out the feed wagon! It’s the holidays

At no other time in the year is food more important than these last three months of the year.

Oh sure, at the very hint of summer sun, sometimes as soon as March with certain people, we march as a battalion of grilling chevaliers into to the nearest grilling station and stock up on enough supplies to see us through a trip along the Oregon Trail.

Don’t snicker as if you’re innocent. You know you’re not. There’s more than a few of you out there that have grilled in February, shivering and pretending that you’re having fun.

The smell and taste of grilled food is amazing, but even with all of this outdoors grilling goodness, it still doesn’t hold a candle to the things we will have ingested by the time October, November and December come to an end.

October might be the least offensive, but it starts the three month food run with a bang when kids from all over come home with bags ladened down with enough sugar to keep a child sufficiently wired through the rest of the year. Running and careening about the house with the end result of parents needing to duct tape everything down before its sent flying.

Food is a hallmark of this season, just like Christmas movies are hallmarks of Hallmark’s TV programming starting around May 3.

November and December are the real heavy hitters though, as we float from one family celebration to another. Work parties, drinks after shopping and the continued devouring of Halloween candy that is squirreled away and forgotten by parents.

Kids will start noticing the purloining of their hard-walked gains, only to be asked by their mom and dad, “Well, honey do you remember where you left the candy?” Shrewd. Turn it back on the child. Parenting 101.

Of course they don’t. No kid remembers where they left their candy. They never remember where they put anything and parents exploit that loophole either trying to ratchet down the sugar high or enjoying the candy themselves. They’re only human.

These parties and celebrations that we all return to will be overflowing with food. How many of us have stood over a shrimp cocktail tray, nodding at the conversation you’re involved in and concerned that people may judge you on the amount of shrimp you’re eating, but also not caring a whole lot?

December might be the worst, filled with not just meat and cheese trays, but cookies and sweets of all kinds and shapes that are literally given away. We are tested by the number of Christmas tree-shaped cookies and routinely fail those exams of will as we shovel flat sugar wafers into our mouths.

And I haven’t even talked about the turkey, ham and goose we will devour. But you know what you do. You know.

These final months of the year will test our willpower as we hover over buffets of temptation, and we will largely fail these gages of fortitude. But that’s alright because after the holidays, we will be too broke for that kind of eating. That’s also okay, because we will have leftovers, and really that’s what the holidays are really for.