So, I’ve decided to do something a little different for this week’s column, despite this coming out after Thanksgiving.

What am I thankful for? An insightful and what I hope will be a heartfelt look into what I am truly grateful for. So without further ado, let us begin with:

I’m thankful for challenge

In probably close to two weeks, we will put our Christmas tree up and face the yet unknown challenge of keeping two cats away from said challenge.

Listen, I love my cats and I have more pictures on my phone of these two fur balls than any man really ought to admit to, but I also don’t want a Christmas tree laying in the dining room.

Buster, we know. He will chew on a few of the branches, he will bat at some of ornaments and he’ll make a God awful mess of the water the tree sits in.

Nemi, short for Nemesis, presents an X-factor we’re unsure, save for knowing that she has a single-minded determination that scares me.

Still there is the idea that at 3 a.m. in the morning, I’m going to hear the jingle of playing followed by the racket of the tree falling to a yuletide “timber,” and me, facing the challenge of the dark as I come screaming out of the bedroom, tripping and stepping on cat toys as I begin a running back-like rumble to the dining room.

It is here that I know doubt will step on the tree, causing an amazing amount of pain and swear words to stream through my mouth. I will look like a drunk dancer in the Nutcracker as I try to avoid falling on the already fallen Christmas icon, and yet the true challenge will hit as I roll over on my back to see the very instigator of this mess staring at me from the table, in mock tribute to how I approach challenge.

Thankful.

I’m thankful for teenagers

Because they often time make me feel like the aging man I am, especially with these goofy challenges we do.

I was openly trolled by one the other day, just about week’s worth of days from a hockey challenge where I will suit up as a goalie — a knight of the ice, a crusader to the cup — and let the Austin Packers girls team essentially use me as target practice.

Believe me they are way too happy about this. And the girls aren’t the only ones. In January sometime we’re going to try to set something up where I go the opposite and try to score on a break away. It should be noted that I haven’t been on the ice, on skates, in years, so this will turn out about how you might think.

This would all be well and good if they didn’t have maniacal smiles on their faces when they talked to me about it. This is supervillian levels of grinning.

Thankful.

I’m thankful for turkey

I’m cooking Thanksgiving dinner again this year and bought a 15-pound turkey for four people.

By the gods, I love leftovers.

Thankful.

I’m thankful for my readers

I seriously don’t know who pays you eight people, but thanks one and all who read my drivel day in and day out. You make me feel like Dave Barry, if Dave Barry worked at a small newspaper and wrote about his cats every other week.

Thankful.

I’m thankful for space heaters

It’s cold at the Herald, man, so yeah, I have a space heater under my desk, defrosting my feet every time I come in from the frigid fun of winter [seriously, I love winter. LOVE IT. Best time of the year].

What? I just really love space heaters.

I’m thankful for “A Christmas Carol”

By far the best Christmas, holiday show around, hands down. It’s got everything I like in it. It has ghosts … and more ghosts … and … are we sure this isn’t a Halloween story?

There are several versions of this Dickens classic that have made it to film starring several famous actors as the calculating, cold and bitter centerpiece to the story, Ebenezor Scrooge.

But really, all you have to know is that the 1984 TV movie version with George C. Scott is the best. Nope! I will not hear arguments to this. The best, hands down.

His gravely voice, the whim in which he laughes after he’s seen the light. Just top notch. I watch it every year on a night when I’m alone at the office brooding over the fact I don’t any pudding and could I come to work every day with a top hat and cane.

Just … George C. Scott. I mean come on, man. It’s like his whole career led up to just that one role.
Well there you have it. Just some of the things I’m thankful for this holiday season. I hope the holidays treat you well, I hope that stiff arm you gave to that lady on Black Friday got you that prime gift and may your Christmas lights always blink evenly.

One always feels a certain warmth this time of year. Oh, nope. That would be the space heater.