It’s okay to not play the spoiler
Published 7:01 am Sunday, January 29, 2017
It seems like only a couple weeks ago when “Rogue One” hit theaters, decimating anything and everythinåg else at the box office.
Sure, movies like “La, La Land,” starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, garnered several Oscar nominations, but unless you reeled into the boat by this newly christened “alternative facts” thing, then you know that “Rogue One” struck a lot more chords to movie fiends across the globe than “La La Land.”
I’m sure “La La Land” is a perfectly fine film, but for my money I’ll take blaster fire and tie fighter screeching any day of the week.
However, this week, the next installment of the newest trilogy released the official name of Episode VIII: “Star Wars: The Last Jedi.”
At the exact same moment I had to lock in place my own self-boycott of anything that any fanboy spews out all over the internet.
It’s a major curse of the internet. There are hundreds of sights devoted to this fandom or that fandom and each one wields the word “spoiler” like a sword, requiring you to dodge the stabbing motion of said spoilers so as not to ruin the movie experience.
A long time ago my dad once chastised me for claiming I hated something.
“You don’t hate it. You may dislike it, but you don’t hate it,” he opined.
I disputed a lot of what dad said over time. The much maligned, “If you have your coat, you can always take it off,” was a stopping point against all child logic that attempted to brush past it, even while I argued my point of it was cumbersome to child antics.
In those years, I was forced to come back and admit that maybe he was right about a few things; however, my use of the word hate is not one of those things.
I literally hate anybody who has some new bit of news on movies, anybody who uses the word “spoilers,” or “spoilers ahead.”
Yes, a lot of it falls in the laps of fans who keep urging these kinds of sights on. Star Wars fans are passionate and they are super eager to scoop up whatever kind of tidbit they can. I get it, but at the same time, if you are a fan you should want to wait until the movie comes out and be delightfully surprised at every turn.
This is where my contention for people who throw these tidbit out comes into play.
Why are you picking at the scab? Super fans are easily cajoled into reading something. You put the words “Star” and “Wars” in a sentence and those fans will click on it.
But the question remains: Why can’t you just leave it alone. Nevermind these rumors are iffy at best and read like: According to the sister of a guy who’s second cousin is the key grip on set, Rey’s parents are Luke Skywalker and Mon Mothma. Okay, they aren’t — not that I know of anyway.
And down that line of thinking comes those people who churn out YouTube video after video speculating what this, that or the other thing means in trailers or other news.
Eighty-five percent of the time they are wrong and are really only reciting things they want to have happen, just so they can make yet another video bemoaning the fact that they were wrong, all the while alluding to the idea that somehow they know more than the director.
I get fanboys, I really do. I saw “Assassin’s Creed” a couple weekends ago and was giddy the rest of the day, but what helped lend to that feeling was that I knew nothing of the plot nor did I care to really speculate. Inwardly I did, but I was careful not to spout off about it.
I knew a few things, but not about the plot and you know what — spoiler alert — it enhanced the movie experience, an experience I wouldn’t have enjoyed as much had I indulged in every little bit of speculation out there.
Same with “Rogue One.” I knew very little of the plot.
So people, please, as a personal favor to me — just stop. Return to the days where you were forced to get all the information you would have simply by watching the trailers and dorking out about it with your friends.
*Spoilers*
You’ll enjoy it so much more.