QUESTION: Will you share some words to say that match the smiles and hugs I give my children?

ANSWER: Children thrive on enthusiasm. When the tone of our voice is pleasant and our attitude is upbeat, we are providing verbal hugs. Describing what our children are doing when we are pleased is a parenting skill that reaps good things in our relationship with them. It’s like putting them in a warm spotlight and applauding; it’s likely that we will get a repeat performance.

Here is a great list of “verbal hugs” for kids. Any of all of them can be used any time; you really cannot overdue these affirmations: I’m glad to share this (day, time, lunch) with you:

• I’m glad you’re here.

• I’m glad you live in this house.

• I enjoy you.

• You are valuable to me.

• I’m glad we’re (riding, walking, playing, working) together.

• I thought about you during the day.

• I like you.

• I’m glad you are my (son, daughter.)

• Thanks for being you.

• I like the way you did that.

• You have a good eye for color.

• Thank you for picking up (the papers, dishes, toys.)

• You are one good (duster, picker-upper, cook.)

• I am amazed at your improvement.

• Nice job of planning.

• Great follow through.

• You think well.

• I love the way you use your voice.

• You certainly are clever.

• Thanks for the gift.

• I like the way you listen.

• What you said is very interesting.

• You encourage me to think.

• You put things together in a special way.

• Thank you for being patient.

• I’m proud of the way you did that and I’m proud of you.

If you would like to talk about the challenges in raising children, call the toll-free Parent WarmLine at 1-888-584-2204/Linea de Apoyo at 1-877-434-9528. For free emergency child care call Crisis Nursery at 1-877-434-9599. Check out www.familiesandcommunities.org and “Positive Self-Talk for Children” (Author Douglas Bloch).