QUESTION: My 13-year-old son has become really moody. Actually, of the family, he seems to like the dog the most. How do we keep communication open?

 

ANSWER: Welcome to the challenges of teenage children. I remember very clearly how truly amazed I was to overhear my mother saying to her friends, when I was 17, “Maryanne is much less irritable than she used to be.”

I knew that she had been difficult to live with, but it had never occurred to me that I was irritable.

I was recently sharing with a father who was feeling badly because his young adolescent daughter no longer wanted to answer basic questions, like “How was school today?” or “What do you have to do for homework tonight?” when he picked her up from school. At this stage in life, friendly comments and phrases like, “Hi, I hope you had a good day,” are really important.

Questions tend to feel like forced interviews to teenagers, so be prepared to do your own sharing — something about your day, your own plans or even something you find interesting from the world of news.

Leave space for any comments your teen might share, but decide not to be offended by silence. It’s important to be affirmative with our teenagers whenever possible, while being firm and friendly with requests and consequences.

Since your dog is a valued family member, you’ll enjoy these 14 things we call all learn from “man’s best friend” as we face the challenges of parenting:

1) Never pass up the opportunity to go for a ride.

2) Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

3) When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

4) Take naps and stretch before rising.

5) Run, romp and play daily.

6) Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

7) Be loyal.

8) Never pretend to be something you’re not.

9) If what you want is buried, dig until you find it.

10) When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle him or her gently.

11) Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

12) Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

13) Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

14) No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into guilt and pout; run right back and make friends.

 

If you would like to talk with a parenting specialist about the challenges in raising children, call the toll-free Parent WarmLine at 1-888-584-2204/Línea de Apoyo at 877-434-9528. For free emergency child care call Crisis Nursery at 1-877-434-9599. Check out www.familiesandcommunities.org