QUESTION: How do I get everyone in the family to take some responsibility for household chores?

ANSWER: The term housework brings back memories of a Marriage Enrichment Weekend exercise that had couples put categories of activities in order according to time involvement at home. I had housework as number three out of 20, but I expected it to be very low on my husband’s list. It was my perception that, although he never complained about how the house looked, he rarely helped out in the vacuuming, dusting, laundry or dishwashing. I was amazed when housework showed up as number 5 on his list. When questioned, he quickly pointed out the time he spent on the yard work, the storm windows, the cars, and coping with the plumbing and heating.

Children can help with work around the house when they can pick it up, put it away, fold it, sort it, or carry it out the door. Young grade-schoolers can make their beds, put their clothes in the laundry, feed pets and get their backpacks organized for school. They can also help out with food preparation and clean-up. A child who can program a TV/DVD or an Ipod is capable of mastering a washer and dryer.

Here are some suggestions for different ways of assigning chores:

1. Each child chooses one big job and one small job to do for a month. Give younger children a chance to choose first.

2. Create a “chore wheel.” Kids spin the wheel each week to see what their jobs are.

3. Give children complete responsibility for maintaining a different common family room each week.

4. List chores that need to be done on slips of paper and spread them out on the floor. Each child can select three slips. Then allow for a two-minute “barter period” to give kids a chance to negotiate if they want to change jobs.

5. Designate a “It’s Your Night To Cook” schedule among family members.

If children ask to be paid for doing household chores, you might consider keeping two lists. The first list has chores that the child does simply as a contributing member of the family. The second list includes chores that a child may elect to do in return for money. Some parents find other ways to reward their children. You might create a “fun box” where kids drop in suggestions for weekend activities. If all the chores have been completed, the parents pick one activity to do with the family.

If you would like to talk about the challenges in raising children, call the toll-free Parent WarmLine at 1-888-584-2204/Línea de Apoyo at 877-434-9528. For free emergency child care call Crisis Nursery at 1-877-434-9599. Check out www.familiesand communities.org