Doink, doink, I have to go

Published 10:17 am Thursday, June 25, 2009

The helium is long gone from the balloons at the retirement party, and the fun of hearing my squeaky voice has disappeared.

I’m getting a little annoyed at a grandson who keeps asking me, “When are you going to move into the senior center, Papa?”

When I have coffee with friends, the conversation is more likely to turn to Medicare supplementary insurance plans than anything else.

Email newsletter signup

I thought about writing a book called “Sexy at 65.” After the title came to mind, there was nothing else to write.

I get telephone calls from financial advisors. “Sixty-five is the new 55,” they tell me before making a sales pitch. I hope they don’t mind it when I hang up on them.

I got excited the other day when the mailman left a large box at the door. It wasn’t the Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol. It was prescription drugs from the VA.

Right now the highlight of the day occurs when “Law & Order” reruns are on TV. Whenever I hear the “doink doink” theme music, I sit up in my La-Z-Boy recliner and pay attention.

It’s only been four weeks since retirement, and it still feels like an extended vacation.

It’s been a humbling experience. I still get cards in the mail, and every one of them is very much appreciated. The other day, a retired Hormel meatpacker by the name “Dick” sent me a nice letter. Totally unnecessary.

Then, Woody Vereide, the legendary retired Mower County auditor, sent me a funny card. Totally unnecessary.

Just last night, the mail included a card from Jill Weikum, retired Mower County social worker. Totally unnecessary.

To date, there have been 201 totally unnecessary greetings. As I’ve said before, this has been a humbling experience.

And I’m getting lots of advice. Boy, am I getting lots of advice.

For years I have followed the advice when things went wrong “In five years, will this matter?”

That advice seems to apply to retirement when part of the pleasure is taking your time to reset your life.

If only those darn fools would keep their advice to themselves. For instance, the other day a friend said to me … DOINK DOINK!

Never mind. “Law & Order” is on.