The Mediation Center of Southern Minnesota continues to bridge troubled family waters.

It does this important work without fanfare or attention and it does it well.

More work could lie ahead as the seasons change and some families face agonizing decisions centering around children.

“As temperatures warm our thoughts turn to summer and the end of school for another year,” said Shari Heimer, the center’s executive director. “As families happily plan their summer vacations, other parents are faced with the anxieties of how to handle summer plans.” According to Heimer, these parents are parenting from two different homes and must not only make plans around the work and events of their family, but also must plan around the wishes of their child’s other parent. “Often, this results in conflict,” Heimer said.

The Mediation Center of Southern Minnesota can help families resolve conflict, Heimer said.

The Mediation Center has been resolving conflicts for residents of Mower County for nearly 12 years, beginning in 1997, under the name Cooperative Solutions and now as the Mediation Center.

Heimer started out as one of the mediators in 1997, and continues to mediate as well as provide administrative services.

Heimer said the work is challenging, but she “loves her job.”

A typical case begins with one parent calling the office and questioning how to deal with the other parent. “They may be in a dispute over summer vacation, holidays or day-to-day parenting care and decision-making for their children,” Heimer said.

The words “custody” and “visitation” are not used often at the Mediation Center, although that is where the discussions are often focused. Heimer’s belief is that when parents no longer live with each other that does not make their responsibilities and rights as a parent suddenly become one of custodian or visitor. “However,” she explained, “it does mean that discussions need to occur on how the children can thrive while being raised in two different homes.”

Heimer meets with both parents and helps them generate a “parenting plan.”

A parenting plan could be viewed as a parenting partnership agreement, Heimer suggested.

Included in the agreement are details about the day-to-day parenting schedule, often a separate schedule for both school time and summer vacation.

Also included are the exchange times for different holidays.

Heimer said she believes that the “more details in the agreement, the less area for conflict in the future.”

“No items go into the agreement that both parents do not agree they can live with,” she said.

The end results: Agreements reached in mediation result in far less conflict and far fewer trips to the courtroom for the judge to decide how the parents should raise their children.

Although considerable time is spent on the schedule, Heimer said parents spend a great deal of time on decision-making and guidelines for caring for the children.

She described these things as “the things which if you were in the same home together you would discuss before acting on.”

Examples would be, “‘Whether or not your child needs braces?’ or ‘Should they join the hockey team?’ and ‘If they are on the hockey team, how the fees are going to be paid?’” the director said.

Possible areas of conflict abound and more questions can arise.

“Is this the summer they should take swimming lessons or join peewee ball?” Heimer continued.

“Other issues may include ‘Is the child old enough to be left alone without a babysitter?’” the director said.

Common issues in families become uncommon areas of debate with others.

With the help of a mediator, parents discuss how the decisions will be made, and how the parents will communicate with each other living in the future. “Communication is a very important part of parenting, however, often it becomes ineffective and even harmful if the children are pulled into their parents’ conflict,” Heimer said.

With the help of a mediator, parents can focus on the problem and not each other.

“The mediator helps the parent generate options and helps parents evaluate those options in a safe and respectful way,” she said.

Heimer said over 80 percent of the cases that come into the mediation room leave with a successful agreement.

That agreement is then filed with the court and becomes part of the court order.

This is usually completed in less than 8 hours, according to the director.

The Mediation Center of Southern Minnesota is one of the only non-profit centers offering a full range of mediation services for divorce, custody and visitation and also neighborhood disputes.

The Mediation Center receives funding from the United Way of Mower County, Minnesota Supreme Court and The Hormel Foundation.

Services are offered on a sliding fee scale for income eligible families.

The Mediation Center is located in the US Bank Building at 301 North Main St. in Austin. Call 433-3663 for more information.