Say what you want about Woody Vereide, Bruce Henricks and Dick Cummings, but Mower County lost three of its best comedians when they retired.

Woody was the former long-time Mower County auditor, Henricks was the county’s director of human services and Cummings was a county commissioner.

Woody’s replacement, Doug Groh, will never be mistaken for a standup comedian.

It remains to be seen if Henricks’ replacement can sing karaoke like Bruce did.

A case could be made for the entire Mower County Board of Commissioners, when they gave themselves a raise, but that wasn’t funny.

Here are some funny — I hope — predictions for the rest of Mower County in 2009:

Adams: American Legion Post No. 146 finally makes the National List of Hysterical Places.

If only they had spelled “Historical” correctly, this would be something to brag about.

Brownsdale: The “Blonde  Cookbook” written by a retired banker becomes an instant bestseller. Where he got the diary nobody knows, but it makes for lively reading. For instance, “Monday: It’s fun to cook for Tom.  Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

Tuesday: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress.

What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.”

Dexter: Three suspects in robbery are caught, fleeing the scene, by a Mower County sheriff’s deputy on routine patrol. When a lineup is held at the Oasis, the suspects are ordered to repeat “Gimme all your money or I’ll shoot.”

The deputy takes the suspect into custody who indignantly replied, “That’s not what I said.”

Elkton: Crime wave continues. An alert bank teller foils robbery when she tells a potential bank robber, who used a thumb and finger to simulate a gun, his nails were dirty and he needed a manicure. The suspect fled in embarrassment.

Grand Meadow: Outraged Bennington Township farmer tries combining two wind turbines.

LeRoy: Lake Louise State Park renamed Lake Louis State Park in attempt to attract more females.

Lyle: New part-time police officer deploys stop sticks late one night to nab chickens repeatedly crossing the road to get to the other side. Lyle City Council wants to know “Why?”

Mapleview: New church creates stir in town when St. Jarhead’s First United Marine Corps advertises: “It’s God’s job to judge the terrorists. It’s our mission to arrange the meeting.”

Sargeant: Town drunk nabbed for trying to blow out street light.

Taopi: All Kiefers asked to take “Boe” name for easier spelling after some fail to put “i” before “e.”

Waltham: Farmer trades family’s only car for a horse to help restore America’s independence from foreign oil.

He describes his horse drawn buggy as an “Energy Efficient Vehicle” and posts sign on back: “Runs on oats and grass. Be careful not to step on exhaust.”