Hooray … it’s Thanksgiving Day!

Here are a few people and places I am thankful for knowing:

(10) Margaret Kirchner, Daryl Franklin, Al Layman, Dick Guckeen, Truman and Mavis Moen, Jim and Merlene Stiles, Lonnie and Linda Delaney and Eric Johnson and the Austin Daily Herald advertising staff for all the rides and all the other people who offer to give me a ride, but I refuse.

(9) The Mower County Board of Commissioners, the Austin City Council and all the other elected officials I have misquoted.

(8) Larry Dolphin. The man is in a league by himself for making people around him feel good about themselves and life.

(7) Ellis Middle School. The place rocks with attitude. Every school in Austin, public and private, is a good place to be, but Ellis Middle School just makes an old guy wish he could go back.

(6) Queen of Angels Catholic Church. You have to be there on one of those mornings when the sun is shining bright over the entire Queen’s complex to appreciate its presence in our lives.

(5) Walking into Donut Connection when the donuts are being made. The smell of freshly baked donuts grabs a hold of me and doesn’t let go.

(4) Adams, the entire town and township. From Little Cedar Lutheran Church across town to Sacred Heart Catholic Church, from Bubbles’ Cafe to the American Legion Post, from north to south, east to west, there ain’t another place like it.

(3) Not to ignore the rest of Mower County either. Perhaps, the best indicator of just how good a place this is is the Prairie Visions organization. Nobody promotes the quality of life better than the Prairie Visions volunteers.

(2) Main Street in Austin. The one downtown. It’s not the same, of course, but it’s still the heart of downtown and it’s beating thanks to the Austin Main Street Project. I still miss Nemitz’s and worry about losing Bonnie’s Hallmark, but it’s just a good place to visit and recall the glory days and dream/hope for things to come.

(1) My children and grandchildren. What 64-year-old man would say otherwise?

Happy Thanksgiving to all and thanks for letting me get to know you.

Sad to say, this isn’t a happy day for everyone:

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough.”

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

The father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

“Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, ”I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, do you hear me?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.

“Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving, and they’re paying their own way.”

Hold on …… I’m not through with you yet.

Here’s your sermon for Thanksgiving Day: There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old rifle and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out hunting and kill some wild game for dinner. As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit. He shot at the rabbit and missed it. The rabbit ran away.

Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. The squirrel disappeared into a hole in a cottonwood tree.

As he went further, he saw a large wild Tom turkey in the tree, but he had only one bullet remaining.

A voice spoke to him and said, “Pray first, aim high and stay focused.”

However, at the same time, he saw a deer that was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer.

But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattlesnake.

Still, the voice said again to him, “I said ‘Pray, aim high and stay focused.’ ”

So, the man decided to listen to God’s voice.

He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it.

And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he stood up to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat for his family.

Moral of the story:

Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God. Never let others discourage you and always read the Austin Daily Herald. I added that last one.