Dear Adams:

It’s mid-summer and I’ve got to confess: I miss you.

I haven’t seen St. Thomas since I don’t know when. Does he still sit on the corner stool at The Office? You know, the one with two seat belts?

Speaking of golfing jokes, how’s Jim Kiefer?

I haven’t been to Adams since Dairy Days or as they now call it “The Weekend It Rained Way Too Much.”

To show I care I suggest all Adams residents take the following quiz to stay sharp in this election year. Those politicians will be spreading it pretty thick as soon as summer is over. Unless you stock up on Baloney Repellent it may be hard to tell fact from fiction.

Keeping the brain sharp will help:

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October

Revolution?

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what

animal?

7) What was King George VI’s first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial

airplane?

Remember, you need 4 correct answers to beat the top score tallied by a bachelor dairy farmer from Taopi.

Check your answers below:

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October

Revolution?

November

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what

animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI’s first name? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange

I hope this helps, Adams friends.

If you got all of them right, I’ll buy you a beer at the Johnsburg Jamboree Sunday.

Sincerely, Your Friend

While we’re busy exercising our gray matter, how about considering

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people “appear”

bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable — except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there’s a 90 percent probability that you’ll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them on a hill, in the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the junk left by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10. When going to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

A reader claims the results of his Coffee Shop survey were a resounding 4 -1 “Yes” margin on this sensitive question.

Here’s your chance to weigh in:

Considering Austin’s strong Union heritage, do you feel that the new Austin Wal-Mart store will become the first unionized Wal-Mart store in the U.S.?

Fat chance. Maybe, there was a time that could have been true, but not today.

Another reader uncovered a little known twist at the Alamo:

On that fateful day, March 6, 1836, Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his bunk on the ground floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on the west wall.

Col. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already up there.

The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards them.

Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and said, “Jim, are we landscaping today?”

Plans for the George W. Bush Presidential Library have been announced.

The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction and looks like a disaster.

The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can’t remember anything you see or hear.

The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t have to even show up.

The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.

The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.

The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (which no one has been able to find).

The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.

The Dick Cheney Room, in an undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery.

If Triple JJJ Disposal Services isn’t the best, I don’t know who is.

Friday customers on the northeast side faced a long week-plus last Friday of no trash pickup due to the Independence Day holiday until Jason Hoerter’s people called all the customers last Wednesday night saying there would be a special early Thursday morning pickup. Neighbors told neighbors overnight and when Thursday arrived, the garbage was gone.

That’s great customer service.

Triple JJJ Disposal Services also has the best-looking garbage trucks in town and one of them was in the Independence Day parade.

Should have been at the head of the parade instead of that goofy Post-Bulletin van as far as I was concerned.

Congratulations also to the Austin Area Chamber of Commerce for a great Freedom Fest celebration! It was a blast. Great parade and the lineup cards were a welcome addition. Give Home Federal and award for their float if you haven’t done so already. Great job by all!