Attention: Do not adjust your newspaper. That is not Lee Bonorden smiling atop this column. It is guest columnist Lee A. Bjorndal, prominent local mandolin player. When not on tour entertaining dozens of fans at family gatherings, he is a lawyer. The only thing we have in common is the search for truth and justice. Otherwise, he's just another Lee Bonorden-wannabe. Please read his guest column. Coming away from the experience amused or enlightened is strictly optional.

-- L.B.

These are troubled times. People lament the decreasing importance of neighborhoods in our lives. They complain how few folks really know their neighbors or socialize with them, certainly not like back in the "good old days." Reasons for our lack of sociability include parents working too much, fewer children, day care and the decline of neighborhood schools. I am frequently asked, "What can a guy do to improve his neighborhood?"

There are solutions, friends.

In these uncertain days, we all have a duty to get to know our neighbors. Get out there and talk to them. Community building will ultimately improve not only your life, but that of your neighbors. Make a meal for a neighbor. Invite an elderly person over for a meal, shovel a sidewalk or help with yard work.

Many guys have communication problems, however, and are uncomfortable with these "old-fashioned" ideas. Still, there are other time-tested ways you too can become involved in "relationship-building."

Borrowing tools is a great way to meet your neighbors. First, figure out who might have a leaf blower you'd like to borrow. Drop over to that neighbor's house on a nice fall Saturday, chat about football, and get that powerful leaf blower. You will be able to have another nice conversation in the spring when you return it. I suggest waiting until the NCAA finals so you can converse about a sporting event of some importance. Your neighbor will be glad to speak to you.

Another super suggestion is helping your neighbor discipline his children. Let's say you see a child acting recklessly on his bicycle near your home. Grab that child by the ear and drag him to his parents' home at once. Tell them this: "Hey, it takes a village to raise a kid, man. I'm here to help." By using this saying, they will recognize your sensitivity and caring. It will bring you closer to that neighbor.

Borrow gasoline for your mower. Ask your neighbor if he minds if you borrow some gasoline. Tell him that you wouldn't mind getting some for yourself, but the odors might soak into the plush carpet of your car. Tell your neighbor that his car probably doesn't attract those toxic fumes. Admire him for driving a car that could be used for industrial purposes.

The lawn, however, is the common denominator of American neighborhoods. Talk about lawns in depth. Say, "Hey, a guy could try to pull some of those dandelions, then he wouldn't have to fertilize. Didja every thinka that?" Or try this time-tested favorite, "I hear that all chemical stuff you put on the lawn kills birds and even makes children sick. I wish my wife would let me get it." Earn respect through lawn envy. You will soon be hosting barbecues.

Spring is approaching, and we'll all be leaving our cozy homes for warm weather chores. Remember, "Love your neighbor." These methods will help you connect with them and you may just end up with a stronger neighborhood. Or maybe a different one altogether.

Lee Bonorden can be contacted at 434-2232 or by e-mail at :mailto:lee.bonorden@austindailyherald.com. Lee A. Bjorndal can be found in court or sitting at home with no one to talk to.