Why can't people be honest?

Really, it shouldn't be that difficult. When you go to the store and you see a half-price sale sign, you expect to get half off.

Until you hear …

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You'll have to buy one pair, then you get the next half off."

Great.

Of course, why should we be surprised?

It's just like getting a call at home.

After a long day of being a work, or playing gin rummy at the Elks, you want to unwind.

An unwanted phone call is the last thing you want.

Ring.

Hello?

"Good evening Mr. Fields. I'm calling to give you a great deal on a pair of these mattr ..

Click.

Why can't they just say this instead?

"Hey, look. I really don't want to do this. But I'm getting $8 an hour to call people I don't even know and probably won't ever talk to again, just to sell them this cheap piece of junk that I wouldn't let my Aunt Karen buy. You can hang up now if you wa … "

Click.

There. That's more like it.

We seem to get a sense of control when we're on the other end of the phone. The same can be said when we're behind the wheel.

Not that any of us have encountered some jerk on the road.

It's been a few months since I've had a good one. The last time was when I was coming back from LaCrosse.

The speed limit is supposed to be 70 on the freeway, so I was doing 75. I then got in the left lane to pass this car.

Just as I passed him, this guy got the sand enough to throw on his brights.

I've got a 1999 Ford Ranger and I don't know what it is about that truck. But it seems like many folks think I have my brights on, when I don't.

So I showed him.

I jerked over back over to the right lane and hit the brakes.

All the while, I have an Austin eye doctor in the passenger seat that I won't name for fear of embarrassing him, his wife and child.

So this jerk tries to slow down as well, but I beat him to the punch. Now, he's in front of me, so I throw on my brights.

Howdya like that, pal?

Needless to say, he sped up in no time. I merely kept it at 75. I didn't want to catch up and keep my brights on behind him the whole time. I would just stoop to the same jerkdom in which he was king.

Finally, when we hit the Rochester exit, he took his nice, shiny Chrysler and got off. Gee, what a surprise.

I kept my little Ranger on the freeway toward home.

Here's the moral of the story:

Be honest.

If for some reason you can't, here's what you do: Finagle your way to get half off a mattress. If that doesn't work, drive home the whole way with your brights on.

Then, if all else fails, start heading east.

Toward Rochester.

Dan Fields can be reached at 434-2230 or by e-mail at :mailto:dan.fields@austindailyherald.com