My friend Heidi has a sign in her kitchen that says "The Witch Is In." She put it up after her boyfriend gave her a broom with a red bow for a gift a couple years ago. Heidi said that she did need a new broom but she didn't want one for a gift. I can totally relate to Heidi and her broom gift.

For many years, my husband Tom and I didn't give each other Christmas gifts because we thought it better to take care of our children. His parents have always been generous to us and after Christmas, with the money they gave us, we would go out to eat and pay for a sitter for the kids. This was the way it was for years. I didn't look for gifts from him nor did I give him a gift. Sometimes I would patch his bib coveralls before Christmas because I hated to patch them and it was something he always liked to have done.

A couple Christmases back when our children were young, I was surprised to see on Christmas Eve a gift to me from Tom. I said to him. "You shouldn't have gotten me a gift. I didn’t get you one."

Tom smiled and said, "Oh, I just got you something you needed."

Christmas morning, after the kids had opened all their presents, he handed me my gift. The kids watched while I slowly unwrapped a tan dustpan.

"Oh that's just what you need," said one of my daughters.

"You have been using a piece of cardboard to sweep up the dirt, now you won’t have to do that anymore," said Tom, smiling.

"Look, the dustpan got thrown away by accident. I don't mind using a piece of cardboard," I said.

"Right, but now you have a real dustpan," Tom said.

The kids were all so pleased with the dustpan and I was so disgusted with it. I was seething inside and thinking, "This is his gift to me? Something I needed! A dustpan!"

I knew that I never ever wanted to use that dustpan. Two days later we went to my cousin's house and she had on a diamond necklace and bracelet.

"My husband gave me these. It's about time he appreciated me. I am finally getting something I deserve. What did Tom get you for Christmas?" my cousin asked as she flaunted her jewelry.

I mumbled, "A dustpan."

"What? No! Oh my God what are you going to do?" she asked, shocked.

"Nothing. I do know one thing for sure I am never going to use that

dustpan," I said.

A week later, I was at my neighbor's and she showed me a new bedroom set and cedar chest her husband had given her for Christmas. "What did Tom get you?" she asked.

"A dustpan," I said.

"No! A dustpan? Is your marriage in trouble," my neighbor demanded.

"No, we are fine. I just will never use it," I said.

My neighbor did not understand why I wasn't more upset about the dustpan. I had been at first but I remembered that my dad had given my mother shampoo for years. My mother didn't shampoo her own hair but had it washed and set weekly at a salon. My husband is a lot like my dad and while they may not be good at picking out gifts, they are good men.

By spring, my neighbor and my cousin had separated from their husbands.

Their elaborate gifts didn't keep them in their marriages and they both divorced.

I threw away the dustpan Tom gave me and brought a big blue industrial dustpan for the house. Now I just hope he doesn't give me something I need this Christmas or the witch will be in.

Sheila Donnelly can be reached at 434-2233 or by e-mail at newsroom@austindailyherald.com