It doesn't get any better than this on a Tuesday in August.

Got to the impressive opening day ceremonies for the 2002 Mower County Fair.

Got to the 4-H Rabbit Show in time to take some pictures. Gayle Perkins will take care of the others. I hope.

Got to the 4-H Lamb Lead and Sheep Show in time to snap the winners with help from Mower County 4-H assistant Sara Davis.

Helped judge the Mower County Beef Cook-Off. At least, I think that was what I was doing there. All I remember is the best-tasting beef ever to pass over my lips.

And, I got all the winners of the Midwest Steer and Heifer Show. Even the short one. Don't worry, I won't mention Mark Schaefer's name.

Oops.

Opening day at the 2002 Mower County Fair was a blast. Best weather I can remember for a long time on an opening day.

And I got lucky: Not once did I run into Dan Vermilyea. Mr. Laff-A-Minute had a high old time Sunday night at the Midwest Swine Show poking fun at Yours Truly in front of the crowd.

Naturally, I am going to take the high road and not respond … until next week.

I've got a good feeling about the 2002 Mower County Fair. Check it out.

Everybody is talking about Crane Pavilion after the $250,000 restoration project. It's even better than the $85,000 public restroom that opened last year.

Nice job on a favorite landmark at the fairgrounds, Mower County Fair Board and -- I never thought I would be saying something like this -- Mower County commissioners.

But, leave it to the Midwest Steer and Heifer Show to steal the spotlight and people's hearts on opening day.

Greg Retterath showed the champion dairy steer in the show. The 16 year old is the son of Joe and Betty Retterath and as everybody knows his father died of ALS this summer and way ahead of his time at the age of 57.

Greg, Papa Joe is mighty proud of you!

Of course, my biggest problem was putting my foot in my mouth and inviting people to "Stop by and say 'Hi!' and I'll buy you an ice cream cone."

Thanks to Eugene Anderson's sister, Donna, I have some coupons to send people to the Mower County ADA Malt Stand.

In exchange for "financial considerations," all I had to do was promise never to be in another cow-milking contest.

Those darn dairy producers said I was giving them a bad name.

Speaking of tractors … let me get this straight: Joe and Kim Schechinger and Gary and Cindy Ziegler want a semi-blind, genuine meet-your-maker heart attack victim and triple bypass surgery survivor to drive a tractor Friday night.

Incredible!

If anything will give tractor pulling a bad name, it's letting a man with poor vision drive a tractor, but I've got another feeling about this.

Last year was just a warm-up for me. This year my time has come.

Consider the competition: Brian "It looks like rain" Smith, KAAL's chief meteorologist; Ann Walter, one of the Minnesota Extension Service's finest, but totally out of her element here; Duane Germain, who is more at home at a demolition derby and probably drives a tractor like he was in one; Terese Amazi, one of the smartest, nicest people you'll ever meet (What did you expect? Insults? She's a deputy and can throw me in the slammer whenever she wants.); and that tractor-pulling professional, Pat Piper.

Are they serious?

See ya' at the Mower County Fair, but don't sit too close to the tractor pull track.

Lee Bonorden can be reached at 434-2232 or by e-mail at :mailto:lee.bonorden@austindailyherald.com