The problem every reporter has is falling asleep.

No. Wait. That's a good thing.

The problem every reporter has is staying awake.

Try sitting through lengthy Austin City Council meetings without yawning.

Try keeping your eyes open from start to finish, during a Mower County Board of Commissioners' meeting.

Try not finding your mind wandering during an Austin Board of Education meeting.

It's impossible.

Sometimes, I'll catch an official nodding off at a meeting.

It gets worse when you attend a seminar and are forced to sit through the whole darn thing, because your boss is there.

Time after time, the speaker's vocabulary invites numbness of the mind. Pet expressions, catch phrases, the latest "trendy" euphemisms all smother alertness.

Idioms become idiotic, maxims are madcap.

Doesn't it just make you want to scream aloud "I can't take it anymore?"

Fortunately, there is a new form of bingo designed to keep people awake at boring meetings, while at the same time expressing a commonly-held opinion about the form of specious talk. (Ironically, it frequently describes this column.)

It's called Bull_ _ _ _ Bingo. The first word rhymes with … well … it rhymes with something.

Modesty prevents me from going too far. Suffice to say, it's a word that means rubbish, nonsense, to tell lies, to tease, to confuse.

I am, of course, speaking of the word "Bulljive." People use it all the time.

As a matter of fact, Yours Truly is considered somewhat of an expert on Bulljive.

The game is the latest rage. Here's how to play the game.

The game card looks like any other bingo card. There are five rows of boxes.

Whenever you hear one of the words in the boxes, during a meeting, seminar or other group discussion, the block is checked off.

When five blocks vertically, horizontally or diagonally are all checked off, stand up and yell "Bulljive!" Picture a bingo card with five rows of the following words: Synergy, Strategic Fit, Core Competencies,

Best Practice, Bottom Line.

Then another row of Revisit, Take That Offline, 24/7, Out of the Loop, Benchmark.

Then, Value-Added, Proactive, Win-Win, Think Outside the Box, Fast Track.

Then another row of Result-Driven, Empower (or Empowerment), Knowledge Base, At the end of the Day, Touch Base.

And finally, Mindset, Spin, Ball Park, Game Plan, Going Forward.

Frankly, I would expect to hear those too-much-used words at the Adams American Legion Post after eating too much of Fred Harvey's fried chicken. After all, great minds at the bar all think alike.

But to hear this malarkey over and over again at meetings and seminars is just too much.

Fortunately, now there is a game that's winning new converts for plain speaking. President Harry Truman would be proud.

The testimonials are overwhelming.

"I had only been in the meeting for five minutes when I won." -- Jack W., Boston.

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." -- David D., Florida.

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." -- Bill R., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense at the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." -- Ben G., Denver.

The game could be marketed under any one of several names. There's Bulldust Bingo, Bullfeathers Bingo, Bullgoose Bingo and, of course, the ever-popular … nevermind.