"Whoa big fella.

Tuesday, November 28, 2000

"Whoa big fella." – the Lone Ranger

I’m pretty sure that’s what the Lone Ranger said to his horse Silver or maybe it’s what Tonto, his faithful companion, said to his horse when it was time to stop – usually somewhere outside of town.

Perhaps the Lone Ranger and Tonto were clandestine forebears to the FBI or the CIA, who’s to say. Anyway, they camped outside of town because of the mask he wore. He would probably have been shot down as a "suspicious character" with his black mask and riding with an Indian. They would have probably been pulled over with a good chance of being arrested if they rode directly in to town – even under the cover of darkness.

The first citizen who sighted them would have cranked that phone crank used with the early phones, if they had them, or else he or she would have hightailed it to the sheriff’s office to report the whereabouts of these suspicious characters.

Once confronted by the marshal or sheriff what could they say? Back then I’m sure any Indian’s word didn’t carry much weight, kind of like the new immigrants today and they, the Indians, were no doubt treated like second class citizens, as they often are today and somewhat like our new immigrants.

What good would it do for the Lone Ranger to say, "I’m really this good guy who has come town to deal with the corruption or crime in your community and actually I’m a former Texas Ranger."

"Sure you are," the Sheriff would reply, as he opened cell, closing The Lone Ranger and Tonto in it – adding "And I’m Wyatt Earp."

Then until they could round up a good lawyer they would be cell bound unless someone they helped out from another community passed by and would testify, "Why that’s the Lone Ranger and he …"

Or I suppose, in some cases, the sheriff might say, "Now if you don’t want to spend time here in our crowbar hotel I suggest you and your Indian friend mount up and go back to from where you came." I’m not sure he would ask him, even with the mask on, what he was doing with the Indian.

My point is really not to write about the perplexity of life that faced the Lone Ranger and Tonto in their on-going pursuit of crime reduction and justice in the west and Texas, kind of like Bush is doing in Texas now with the death penalty but to instead emphasis the Lone Ranger’s "whoa big fella."

Whoa. We need to "slow down" more – stop and watch the snowflakes fall or watch those last leaves that fall go hither and yon.

Take more time to do nothing.

I’m thinking about the endless strain of words hurled out these past weeks in the election and the post election, locally, state wide and nation wide. Not only by the candidates but also by the media in their attempt to fill in all the other hours filling the day with never-ending words.

It could be called an "an epic flood of words" like the summer flood of water we faced in Austin this past summer.

Maybe just go off the air until a decision is reached.

And speaking of floods, it’s my understanding that the Corps of Army Engineers arrived in Austin last week to meet with city official concerning the town’s recent "floods of the century." Floods that seem to pile up at the end of the last century and now the beginning of this new one.

When I think back to their rerouting the Turtle Creek when I was a kid I shudder.

I hope "they" take the time to think this through and do it right.

I also read last week that officials of Rochester Public Utilities are hoping to "freeze to death" thousands of zebra mussels that have invaded Lake Zumbro. They are doing this by drawing water out of the lake. The lakes water level will be dropped by five feet exposing all the mussels that live in shallow water, and they will freeze to death.

I guess the zebra mussel program coordinator for the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources is the mastermind behind that. He says if they take them out in the shallows "we might slow down their explosive growth."

I might add, this might have the potential to upset the balance of nature and maybe take some fish with them. Lakes do freeze out don’t they? Probably not with a river running through.

I think we have to say "whoa" a more often or as my Dad used to say in Czech "Yea Pamaullo" (not correct spelling), which translates to "go slow."

Actually this line came from a song applicable to people drinking and driving and you should go slow so you don’t end up in the ditch.

A way we could slow things down a bit locally might be to turn-off TVs for a week or two – call it "Whoa TV."