A pretty young girl came to our door to hand me a door hanger for her grandfather, who is running for re-election to the City Council.

Monday, October 16, 2000

A pretty young girl came to our door to hand me a door hanger for her grandfather, who is running for re-election to the City Council. I questioned her about her grandfather, and she represented him well. She represents herself well. She smiled widely with a beautiful smile that must be one of her greatest assets. And it is this that most assuredly won me over – she wears braces.

She wears braces and, yet, smiles broadly and unselfconsciously. None of that obvious trick of holding the upper lip over the braces and trying to smile with but the bottom of the mouth. She understands what so many of her peers do not. The beauty of personality shines brighter than any dulling defect or, what is yet more common, self-perceived defect that becomes a defect if accepted.

Teeth braces were not common when I was her age, and those who "had" to wear them were the more noticeable – perhaps conspicuous. One of our classmates was dating another who also wore braces. Without intending harm but with insensitivity nonetheless, we used to kid among ourselves that when they kissed they would lock bumpers.

At her age, our daughter was advised to wear braces. It threatened to be traumatic, for her and us. Not often have I heard young people tease peers with actual malice, but I have often seen the targets become extremely self-conscious and even traumatized emotionally and crippled socially. We decided to address such possibilities proactively. We called a family council. We talked about the thoughtless and sometimes cruel things we could anticipate. We agreed to list all the terrible things we had ever heard and to add yet others of which we could think. In exchange for the freedom to suggest anything and everything, we agreed none of us would ever use any such after this contest.

Her brothers, one older and the other younger, needed no encouragement. We kept reminding her that no one was calling her any of these names, but that we wanted to desensitize her to them and to others of which we might not think. With the boys coming up with so many, we decided she would choose the "worst" or "funniest" or whatever and a prize of some sort would be given. The winner: "metal-mouth."

We presented her with a prize: a T-shirt featuring a smiley with braces and the motto: "Braces are beautiful." She received the braces and went to junior high confidently (well, with relative confidence). She probably had deeper feelings than reached the surface, but I think she adjusted well. The day they were to be removed, I commented to our church’s youth pastor – a young married man she much admired – that this was a big day for her.

"Why?"

"Well, her braces come off."

"Braces? What braces?"

"On her teeth."

"Allison wears braces?"

"Yes, since before you first met her."

"No kidding; I never noticed."

There you have it. She had, and she continues to have, a wonderful personality. She beams excitement and so many interesting things interest her, and this interests others in her. When she was a little girl, a stranger called her "Little Miss Personality." And so she was. She has a personality that shines brighter than anything she might think would dull her. And so it is with that pretty girl who represented her fortunate grandfather.

Braces are beautiful if the wearer’s personhood and personality are beautiful. In the same category falls most of the inconsequential things with which self-conscious young people burden themselves. Let us help them by our understanding and with our affirmations.

Wallace Alcorn’s column appears Mondays