The easiest job about volunteering to help at Pioneer Day each September is directing traffic.

Thursday, September 28, 2000

The easiest job about volunteering to help at Pioneer Day each September is directing traffic.

That I can do.

The hardest job is avoiding Bob Adams.

That I can’t do.

Still, I had another great time this year and not once did anyone run over my feet.

For those who couldn’t attend, here are a few things overheard at the Pioneer Day celebration at the

J. C. Hormel Nature Center.

"Austin police should provide funeral escorts. They deliver bank deposits for stores and unlock car doors, why can’t they help the dead?"

Anyone who has come upon a funeral procession knows a real test of patience when they see one.

Now, there are reports that a form of road rage is taking over some motorists, who attempt to cut into the procession in order to get where they’re going.

Maybe, this is an idea that needs rethinking.

Personally, I think the Austin Police Department has enough public safety things to do without adding to the list.

However, first the city must change the personnel situation and then, maybe, the department can do more.

"What is the city trying to do downtown with TIF? Turn the entire city into a TIF district?"

I have suspected this for a long time. The city that has three economic development directors – the HRA’s Kermit Mahan, the DCA’s George Brophy and City Administrator Pat McGarvey – apparently needs to find something for these fellows to do.

"Have you seen any of those missing Pigs in the City?"

Not in my back yard.

"Who will be our next Mower County sheriff after Barry Simonson retires?"

My sources say Terese Amazi, the highly capably chief deputy appointed to her position by Sheriff Simonson. As the scenario unfolds, Sheriff Simonson announces he is retiring early and asks the county board to appoint Chief Deputy Amazi to fill his unexpired term. Wait and see.

"Got into any trouble at Adams lately?"

Not really unless they count the time I mistook cattleman Doug Hanson for nice guy Doug Johnson and said they were related to used car impresario Glenn Medgaarden. Neither one claimed Glenn as a cousin.

"Is it true that County Commissioner Len Miller is going to run for State Rep. Rob Leighton’s House seat?"

The way I hear it, Leighton completes one more two-year term in the Minnesota House and then announces he is retiring to spend more time with his wife and twin sons. That opens the door for Miller to make his bid.

"How did you do at the rodeo?"

It was a disaster. I couldn’t have done worse if I had tried to milk a steer. When it was over, Fred Cline offered to introduce me to the rodeo queen. Turned out it was a cowboy named Steve, who wore high heels and I don’t mean boots.

"What do you think of those pay raises those school administrators got?"

Incredible. I still think school administrators should wear signs on their backs that read: "Hi, my name is so-and-so! The taxpayers are paying me XXXXXXX a year. What kind of job am I doing today?"

Lastly, "Is the J.C. Hormel Nature Center a great place or what?"

I don’t know what a what is, but I do know the J.C. Hormel Center is a great place.

Congratulations on another outstanding Pioneer Day.