Single holidays don’t have to be hard

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, December 22, 1999

Single people face a roller coaster of emotions during the holidays.

Wednesday, December 22, 1999

Single people face a roller coaster of emotions during the holidays.

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There are peaks and there are valleys.

Either it’s the best of times or the worst of times.

Whether it is the loss of a loved one by death or the disintegration of a relationship because of irreconcilable differences, being alone during the Christmas and New Year’s holidays can be uncomfortable at least and, perhaps, even painful.

Shirley Gold and Phil Gardner have the answer.

They are the president and vice president, respectively, of the Austin Singles and Solos Club.

"Our goal is to provide a better understanding of ourselves and others in similar circumstances through social and educational activities," Gold said in quoting the mission of the nationwide organization.

"It’s like a family to me," Gold said. "I was divorced when I first joined, and didn’t like the bar scene. The social activities of the club helped me to adjust to single life."

Gardner has been a member for about a year.

"I wanted to find a social group, where liquor was not a big deal," he said. "I would echo what Shirley said a little bit and that is if you want to be involved there’s a lot to do."

Gold has been a member since 1974. According to the local affiliate’s president, the non-profit organization meets the first Monday of each month at different locations, but typically restaurants to "eat and meet."

The affiliate has 47 members and usually attracts a core group of 14 to 16 members at its regular monthly 6 p.m. meetings at local restaurants.

But, Gold also explained, there are regular activities, including dances, with other northern Iowa and southern Minnesota affiliates.

"Each club has a dance three or four times a year," she said. "We go to Rochester, Owatonna, Faribault, Waseca, Fairmont, Albert Lea and Mankato as well as Mason City, Iowa."

The dances regularly attract more than 200 people and Austin affiliate members frequently will car pool to the events out of town.

There also are regular visits to the Austin American Legion Club for Sandwich Nights on Thursdays, when the club opens its doors to the public.

"It’s a social event and it’s something that you might not do if your single, because you wouldn’t want to go alone, but knowing there are other friends there from the Austin Singles and Solos Club makes it more inviting," Gardner said.

The local affiliate also will schedule potluck suppers with a business meeting at members’ homes, take picnics in the summer and join other affiliates’ members for outings, including cross-country skiing trips in the winter.

The male and female members are nearly evenly divided by sex, which Gold, the club veteran, said "isn’t the way it used to be when the women would far outnumber the men."

Members must be at least 18 years of age and single by death, divorce or separation or choice. The never-married also are welcome to join.

The Austin’s membership includes mainly "baby boomers" in their 40s as well as active seniors with a few oldsters who like to have fun.

Dues are $13 a year and that is as much a reflection upon how newly singled people may be adjusting financially as well as emotionally to the new status bestowed on them.

There are also "discounts" for special events, such as birthday meetings, to further enhance wide participation.

A monthly newsletter keeps members in touch in between meetings.

"We used to have a membership of 90, but then it decreased," Gold said. "Now, we’re enjoying an increase and want to welcome more people to join."

"Our membership includes people from Lyle, Adams and Blooming Prairie as well as Osage in Iowa," Gold said. "We come from all walks of life and the organization is more informative than anything else. We want to help people adjust to being single and to know they don’t have to be alone."

The next regular meeting of the Austin Singles and Solos Club begins at 6 p.m. Jan. 3 at Jerry’s Other Place restaurant in Austin. Guests are always welcome, according to Gold and Gardner.

"Shirley has been instrumental in keeping the organization going through the years," Gardner said. "She deserves a lot of credit for the club succeeding for so long."

Gold, in turn, praised Gardner for providing new leadership for the organization and the continued support it receives from long-time members, including DuWayne Harrington.

According to Gold, some marriages have resulted in friends meeting through the organization and while that is a welcome outcome, it is not the intent of the club.

"It’s their choice," Gold said. "They can stay home and be alone or they can come to our events and benefit in any way they can."

"Typically," Gardner said, "after a loss or separation you don’t feel like going out by yourself. This is an opportunity to help put something behind you and moving on with your life. It’s getting out and having fun socializing with others."

"Even if you have two people meeting, it’s a success, because that means there are two people who are not alone," Gold said.

For more information, call Gardner at 433-8061, DuWayne Harrington at 433-7601 or Donna Henaman at (507) 325-2548.