"First, do no harm – unless she cuts you off in your cute white BMW Z3 convertible.

Sunday, September 05, 1999

"First, do no harm – unless she cuts you off in your cute white BMW Z3 convertible." This must be the amendment to the Hypocratic Oath taken by Dr. Thomas J. Valente, 42 of Burnsville.

Valente has been coming under a wee bit of scrutiny in the past week. He’s the man who, after having a near miss with a little old lady on the freeway, pulled her over and punched her in the face.

He hasn’t been around to answer questions, being on a trip to Europe, so no one knows if Virginia Hendrickson – the 69-year-old woman in question – caused him to spill coffee on himself, or just stopped his heart with terror. Who cares?

Road rage, they call it. Complete lack of control, they should call it. As much as Hendrickson may have caused a problem by cutting this man off - who hasn’t? Anyone who says they’ve never made a mistake on the road, never caused anyone else to slam on their brakes, is a bold-faced liar. We all sometimes make mistakes. We all give thanks for the quick reflexes of our counterparts on the road.

We do not, however, flag anyone down and physically assault them. Doing so is a sign that we cannot handle the responsibility of driving a car.

So when Dr. Valente, who is probably otherwise a nice guy, receives his fine – which could range up to $700 – perhaps he should stop and think about what he does behind the wheel of his car, and buy a bike instead. They, too, come in really nice models, and they’re all convertibles.