It's all about the sweet corn

By Al Batt | Austin Daily Herald

Published Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club

“Farming is a tough business.”

“That’s for sure. If it doesn’t rain soon, I’m going to have to rob a bank.”

“If it doesn’t rain soon, I’ve already robbed one.”

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors —both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: The weather can fool everyone except the weeds.

No one is perfect

I was driving through an orderly suburban neighborhood. The rocks were better disciplined than our rural rocks. There weren’t many flaws aesthetically.

I thought of an article I had read about a coin that was exceptionally valuable because of a flaw.

There isn’t any one of us walking the earth that isn’t flawed. Those flaws may enhance our value.

Measure twice, cut once

Mike Willette of Delavan told me of the man who asked his wife to come outside and sit in a pile of sand. When she asked him why, he replied, “I need to know how big to make the holes in the new outhouse.”

The meeting rolled on

I attended a morning meeting recently. The meeting was a bit dry, many of them are. It was my fault. There are no boring meetings—only boring attendees.

To help us make it through the morning, the good folks running the operation provided coffee, juice and sweet rolls.

A gentleman at the table next to mine ate seven of the rolls. Seven. They weren’t that small and, yes, I did count them as he ate them.

It was a good eating meeting for him.

It’s the key

There are a lot of keys in our home.

They lurk in the bottoms of junk drawers and hang from walls. They loiter in groups held together by rings.

We don’t have enough locks to keep all of the keys employed.

We are a lot like keys. We have the ability to open things—if we could only find them. We may be the keys to open the doors to happiness for others. Become a volunteer.

Small towns

I was seated in a small-town café.

The table topic was the peculiar habits of a man known to all.

“That’s Herbert. That’s just the way he is.”

It was a wonderful declaration of not only tolerance, but acceptance as well.

Wisdom

Stan Fitz of Rockford, Iowa was interested in gathering some wild mushrooms.

His daughter told him that he should save a piece from every mushroom that he found and consumed. She added that the doctor would likely need to see it.

Overheard at the

hardware store

“Do you think a rabbit could get through the holes in this fence?”

“It would have to be plenty scared.”

Jigsaw memories

I watched the ladies put a jigsaw puzzle together. I offered the use of scissors to cut the pieces to fit. They were near the completion of the puzzle when they discovered a couple of pieces were missing. A jigsaw is a lot like a board game. If you let a board game spend much time alone, it will quickly lose dice, a game piece, cards, etc... A jigsaw puzzle will allow several of its pieces to run away and hide.

I remember my boyhood home housing many jigsaw puzzles — most of them depicting castles. I don’t know where those jigsaw puzzles have gone.

I’ve lost entire jigsaw puzzles.

Top five things about August

1. Sweet corn, the Holy Grail of vegetables.

2. Hand-picked tomatoes that set taste buds to dancing.

3. Clustering monarch butterflies that make the ugliest of backyards beautiful.

4. We finally have peace and quiet as cicada deafness sets in.

5. Sometimes the heat makes us forget about the humidity. Sometimes the humidity makes us forget about the heat.

Nature notes

There are four Minnesota counties with no natural lakes: Mower, Olmsted, Pipestone and Rock.

According to the DNR, the 10 most common lake names in Minnesota are: Mud, Long, Rice, Bass, Round, Horseshoe, Twin, Island, Johnson and Spring.

Woolly bear caterpillars cross the roads. The color of this caterpillar form of the Isabella moth is supposed to denote the upcoming winter’s weather. A dark-colored woolly bear is a sign of a harsh winter and a light-colored one indicates a mild winter.

Talking to the Holstein

I was talking to the Holstein the other day. The Holstein is a retired milk cow, so she has time to talk. I noted that the rapid passage of time astounded me.

The Holstein chewed her cud thoughtfully and said, “The noted philosopher Groucho Marx said it best, ‘Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.’”

Meeting adjourned

A stone given in kindness is a gem. Be kind.

Happy anniversary to the love of my life, my lovely bride, Gail.