Al Batt: What’s in a name

Published 8:24 am Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Echoes From the Loafers’ Club Meeting

Were you named after someone in your family?

Yes, I was named after my older sister and brother.

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You were named after both of them?

Yes, they were named first.

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: My dog thought she was amazing. She could touch her nose with her tongue. I didn’t tell her that all dogs could do that.

I’m a detourist

I spend an inordinate amount of summer on detours.

On the way home after telling stories at the wonderful Moonshell Storytelling Festival in Mahoney State Park near Ashland, Nebraska, I avoided enough detours to be able to stop in Le Mars, Iowa, at the Blue Bunny Ice Cream Parlor & Museum. The Iowa General Assembly officially proclaimed Le Mars as the “Ice Cream Capital of the World.” Wells Enterprises, the producer of Blue Bunny ice cream, has been in Le Mars since 1913 and its over 2,500 employees (Le Mars has a population of 9,935) turn out 150 million gallons of 40 flavors of ice cream each year.

Waiting in line order a cone gave me time to decide that I definitely wanted maple nut.

When I got to the clerk, I cheerfully ordered a small maple nut cone.

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have maple nut,” said the clerk.

I ordered cherry nut.

The clerk piled the scoops onto the cone.

“Is that a small cone?” I asked.

The clerk, working with an experienced precision, smiled and said, “Not yet, it isn’t.”

The cherry nut was powerful good.

It was a lovely room

A large, bearded man had stationed himself and his dog near a stop sign in Pine City. He held part of a cardboard box that was lettered, “Ugly, broke traveler.” Then he turned it over to the flip side, which read, “Smile.”

I was on my way to speak in Duluth.

Arriving in that fine city, I checked into a posh hotel where the banquet was being held. I was going to wear my Armani suit, but then I remembered that I didn’t have one.

“It’s $359 a night plus taxes and fees,” said the clerk.

Yipes! I was a speaker, so I wasn’t paying, but still. My face must have shown my thoughts because the clerk added, “But you get free Wi-Fi.”

I would hope so.

Celebrating life

I knew we were having company. My wife had propped me up on the sofa. It reminded me of our last visit to the movie theater. Being a frugal fellow, I’d bought the giant economy-sized barrel of popcorn. It was so big, I couldn’t see the movie over the popcorn. I slumped in my seat and my wife needed to elbow me into an upright position.

Back to being propped up on the sofa.

I was in a good mood, but tired. My cherubic demeanor was the result of having just completed 576 hours of chemotherapy. That meant I got to ring a bell at the clinic. Making that bell sound was a pleasurable experience.

I was given a lovely pin with the inscription, “Celebrate life.”

Good advice. In celebration, I ate a few dill pickles that a friend, Jan Belshan of Glenville, had made. They were dillies.

My smile was unlimited.

Fall falls

The first leaf falls. Then it invites 200,000 of his closest friends to join it. Most leaves are named Leif. Someone wrote that you can’t see the wind. Fallen leaves moving with the wind, prove that wrong.

Nature notes

I ate a Honeycrisp as I did chores. It’s Minnesota’s state apple. The University of Minnesota says that the Honeycrisp is a cross between a Macoun and a Honeygold. DNA testing found that it’s a cross between a Keepsake and an unknown apple. No matter which is correct, it tastes great.

A peek into the shed showed that house sparrows were living happily every rafter.

I didn’t see a dark-eyed junco. Growing up, that snowbird’s appearance indicated four or six weeks to the first trackable snow, depending upon the forecaster. In 2013 it snowed 28 days after a junco arrived here. In 2014 it was 31 days, 44 days in 2015 and 50 days in 2016.

An ear of corn typically has an even number of rows, averaging 14 to 18. A bushel of corn weighs about 56 pounds and contains approximately 90,000 kernels.

Meeting adjourned

“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.”  Abraham Joshua Hesche