By Lana Hollerud

Crime Victims Resource Center

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Unfortunately, teen dating violence is too common of an experience in our community.

The Love is Respect organization reports that one in 10 high school students report having been purposively hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. It is especially important to provide information and assistance to teenagers and young adults because girls and women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of partner abuse and violence — almost triple the national average, according to Love Is Respect.

The warning signs of an abusive relationship are similar whether it’s teenagers or adults. Abuse isn’t just about physical violence, it’s also about tactics that one partner uses against the other partner with the goal of having power and control over them.

Abusers often display extreme jealousy and possessiveness, which are two major warning signs that a dating relationship may be abusive. Young, inexperienced dating teenagers often mistake these behaviors as indications of true love. However, jealousy and possessiveness lead to isolating their partner, constantly checking up on them, and making false accusations against them about how they’ve been spending their time, and with whom they’ve been spending it, while apart.

Abusive relationships tend to escalate and an incident of physical abuse most often will not be an isolated incident but a sign of what is likely to keep happening, and escalate.

There are many barriers to a person seeking help with an abusive relationship and teenagers have the added concern that if they tell their parents what’s been going on in their dating relationship they fear they will lose their freedom to make their own decisions. Other barriers include the fear that they won’t be believed, that people will side with the abuser against them, or that they don’t want the abuser to suffer negative consequences.

Advocates at the Crime Victims Resource Center are available to assist any parent or teen who may be dealing with dating violence. We are available to listen and to provide options. As always, our services are provided free of charge due to grants from the Office of Justice Programs. Please call 507-437-6680 for assistance.