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Al Batt: A copy machine for human cloning

Published 8:16am Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting:

I grew up poor. There were 23 kids in my family.

Did you live on the wrong side of the tracks?

With 23 kids, we lived on both sides of the tracks.

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: you can blame yourself for anything if you think about it long enough.

The news from Hartland

Dentist, Les Plack, has a saliva barrel that he uses to water his garden.

Grain elevator is a large-scale effort.

Pat Pending buys copy machine in an attempt to do some human cloning.

Musician fired for taking notes.

Hast a la vista, baby

One of my students in a writing class had the hiccups. I asked the rest of the class if they had any cures. As is usually the case, someone advised that the troubled young man say, “Pineapple.”

He did and the hiccups went away.

A day later, I tried the same cure on my hiccuping wife. Her hiccups stopped.

Time marches on and the alarm goes off more often

She hit a home run as her team won the Benilde softball tournament. She hit another as her team took the Waseca tournament. I watched her swish a three pointer effortlessly during an AAU basketball tournament. Her grades are in the A category.

A granddaughter has become a seventh-grader. It happened so quickly. It seems like only yesterday when I held her when she was brand new.

As I watched her on the field and court, I felt love, happy, and old.

I visited a friend who was lightening his load. He had nearly 90 years of experience and was disposing of things that he once yearned for. It left his house with a spare look, as if it were being emptied. That was because it was being emptied. It wasn’t unattractive. Books were spread about as if they were ingredients for a hotdish about to be prepared.

Sooner or later, the books will go. His residence will be filled with little but memories.

I file the memories of academic and athletic accomplishments of loved ones for a day that needs filling.

Those thrilling days of yesteryear

I grew up with an outhouse.

We were in the same grade.

An outhouse was always an interesting place to transact business.

There was a stick with a sharpened point that leaned against our outhouse.

It was used to fend off bloodthirsty mosquitoes.

If everyone drove a white automobile, it would be a white car nation

A friend, Alan McBride of Preston, England, is a Pisces born on March 5. I am a fellow Pisces. Alan told me that reincarnation is done in order and done 12 times, once for each astrological sign. Pisces are last. A Pisces is on his 12th life. His journey on Earth is nearly finished. Alan says he doesn’t get excited about things, because everything is familiar. He has seen it 11 times before.

I’ve never been good at being a Pisces. We are supposed to see both sides, which makes it difficult to take a side. I do that, but I get excited about opportunities, adventures, and the beauty of this world.

Another friend, Chris Watson lives in Alice Springs, Australia. It’s a place where it’s easy to get sand in your shoes. One of the world’s most venomous plants is found there, the gympie-gympie stinging tree that can cause months of excruciating pain for unfortunate people. But as Chris explains, the stinging tree doesn’t chase anyone down the street. That’s certainly the silver lining of a dark cloud. Who could keep from wanting to visit a place named Alice Springs?

I am grateful for each day.

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