‘If it could happen to anyone, why doesn’t it?’Published 10:55am Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting:
“What do you do?”
“I help people make money.”
“Like my doctor, my cellphone provider, my cable company guy, my mechanic, my…”
Driving by the Bruces
I have two wonderful neighbors —both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: If it could happen to anyone, why doesn’t it?
“What can you tell me about picking edible fungi?” I will warn you that there’s not mushroom for error.
“What was the most ostentatious wedding you’ve ever attended?” That would have been the Snooty/Persnickety nuptials. Former NFL great Jerry Rice was thrown at the couple.
“I looked at an old history book and was impressed with the colors shown in it. Do you know what they are called?” Those are past tell colors.
North Dakota notions
I’d been working in North Dakota. It’s a well-oiled state. The mosquitoes are trained to drill for oil. One fellow claimed to have found happiness right in his own backyard — with an oil well. A friend who lives in North Dakota wishes that he had an oil well. I sent him a get-well card.
That’s why they sell earplugs
I admit it, I don’t enjoy loud music. I try not to gripe about it, but I growl occasionally. When I do that, I recall a Robert Frost poem, titled, “A Minor Bird.” “I have wished a bird would fly away, And not sing by my house all day. Have clapped my hands at him from the door, When it seemed as if I could bear no more. The fault must partly have been in me. The bird was not to blame for his key. And of course there must be something wrong, In wanting to silence any song.”
The sign read, “Sorry, we’re open.” Four friends and six opinions sat at a table. It was a favored place because nothing there was hard to swallow. The waitress said that she was using the backup coffeepot. She didn’t say why, so I assumed that the regular coffeepot had the day off. One diner asked what he should give his wife on their 55th anniversary and was told that was the fiber anniversary. Bran cereals were suggested as appropriate gifts.
Did you know?
Canada has a population of 35 million. California’s population is 37 million.
Ford sold its first car in 1903, a red, two-cylinder Model A with no roof. It was sold to a Chicago dentist named Ernst Pfenning, who paid $850 for it. The car’s top speed was 28 mph.
Popular folklore says that when a cat stares out a window, it will rain. If that is true, it should rain 365 days a year. It wasn’t long ago when drought was a big worry. Shortly thereafter, I heard people saying, “We’ve only had rain twice this year — once for 30 days and once for 45 days.” Maybe too many people prayed for rain.
Gail Savick of Freeborn wrote, “I want to know if there is some meaning behind the blackbirds dropping their babies’ poop in the bird waterer after taking it out of the nest?” The toilet habits of the grackle irritate many folks. Baby grackles produce fecal material that looks like miniature sandwich bags filled with poop. The parents grab these little bird diapers and fly away with them. They want to dump them away from the nest so that predators wouldn’t be aware of the location of the baby birds. The grackle considers water the perfect place to dump its cargo, as it washes away all evidence. A swimming pool or birdbath is ideal, but a car with a nice polish does in the pinch, as does my garage door.
Kind words cost little, but are priceless to the beneficiary.