Famed singer wasn’t driving his Chevy to the leveePublished 11:04am Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting:
“My name is Bob T. Johnson.”
“It’s nice to meet you. What is the T for?”
“To keep me awake.”
Driving by the Bruces
I have two wonderful neighbors —both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: the best thing about mental telepathy is, well, you know.
The meaning of most dreams is that you are sleeping.
Being willing to work hard is a talent.
If everything were legal, there would be no crime.
The news from Hartland
The same things happen in Hartland as they do elsewhere, just not as often.
Roofer, Lee King, has a weekly special. This week, shingles are on the house.
Bertha DeBlues Music Store sells its soul music for money.
Hold out your hand when entering Grease World. That cafe saves you money by eliminating plates.
Seeing the world through glasses
George Carlin said, “Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big.”
My mother saw a glass as half-full. My father saw it as half-empty. He had to. He was a farmer. He believed Dwight Eisenhower who said, “Farming looks easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield.” As a boy, I looked at my glass of Tang (it’s what the astronauts drank) as spilled. I looked at an empty glass and thought of it as diet water.
The way my parents looked at a glass carried over to other things. Mom and Dad talked things over at the kitchen table. Dad brought the numbers. Mom operated in the visceral arena — instinct and feelings. Woman’s intuition. They shared the decision-making process. Dad was the “no” part.
At night, back in the day
It was an AM radio, but it worked in the p.m., too. Many local stations went off the air or cut power at night, making room for powerful stations from afar. I took my beloved GE transistor radio to bed each night and used an earphone to listen to distant stations. It was magic. I remember hearing a Los Angeles station and wanting to cry out, “LA!” but I didn’t dare. I was supposed to be sleeping. Sometimes I’d listen to basketball games played by people I couldn’t even picture.
I watched a girls basketball game recently. I could see all the players. I knew some. It was a good game. The score was close. A young woman seated to my left, looked up from her cellphone long enough to yell, “Travel!”
Then she realized that the one with the ball was a member of the team for which she was cheering. Undaunted, she said, “I meant, ‘Dribble!’”
Did you know?
Singer Don McLean (famed for singing “American Pie”) was fined $400 for cruising through a 15 mph school zone in Maine at 43 mph. He wasn’t driving his Chevy to the levee. He was driving a Chrysler.
About 60 percent of the material piled on your desk and around 80 percent of your files could be safely tossed, according to “Time Management for Dummies.”
In 1967, Dustin Hoffman was in the movie “The Graduate.” He played the character of Benjamin Braddock, who had returned home after graduating from college. Uncertain about his future, he was seduced by Mrs. Robinson, the wife of his father’s business partner. She seemed to be a much older woman. Hoffman was 30 years old in real life. Anne Bancroft, who played Mrs. Robinson, was 36.
George Washington’s inaugural address was the shortest inaugural address in U.S. history. It was 133 words long.
Ric McArthur of Morpeth, Ontario wrote, “I was talking to a friend who was trying to quit smoking. I asked how he was doing, he replied, ‘I only smoke once in a while and never in between.’”
Cottontail rabbits mate from February through August, acting as if they are dancing when the urge hits. Females make a nest by scraping a shallow depression in the ground and lining it with grass and fur. Three to six young are born naked, blind, weighing about an ounce, and measuring four inches after a 28-32 day gestation period. They grow rapidly. At five weeks of age, they are weaned and independent. They are mature at four months. There might be four litters a year. Due to many predators, only about 1 percent of rabbits reach 2 years of age. Rabbits have territories of five acres or less and are capable of running 18 mph.
Be happy. Be kind.